emeralds and amber
Jun. 20th, 2019 10:36 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
intheheartTitle: emeralds and amber
Rating: G
Summary: Summer isn't sure if this is even possible.
Warnings: none.
Notes: Followup to this piece.
There were no rules for this.
That was the trouble with it all. Summer had rules for everything—how to sit and stand and speak and be silent—and while another girl her age might have chafed at such stricture, she loved it. It made her feel so much more comfortable, so much more stable when she might have been all asea. And there were no rules for this.
Or, well, not precisely.
She had been taught how to receive a marriage proposal. Gina, who had received six, had laid it all out for her in simple steps. First, thank the gentleman for his interest, second, choose whether or not you are also interested in him, third, render the appropriate answer. For Gina that answer had always been no. For Summer it was a moot point, as no gentleman had indicated such an interest, but it seemed a relatively simple process and she had been sure she would have no trouble.
How was she to know it was anything but?
Had she even thanked them for their interest? She could not remember. They had been honest with her, at least. She was very grateful for that.
The worst part was that she couldn't ask Gina, or Ivy, or Mama, or anyone for advice. Mr. Ryan and Mr. Claro had not given her permission to tell anyone about them, and it was a rule, a hard and fast rule that one did not tell others' secrets without their permission. Especially not when the secrets were so... she did not know the word.
Of course, there were things one could say, ways she could ask without revealing anything, or at least if she asked correctly, which she did not at all have faith that she could do.
"Mama," she asked, "is it possible to love more than one person? I mean, at the same time," for she knew it was perfectly possible to love again after a loss. She had only to look to her sister for that.
Mama gave her a strange look, and said, "Of course it is. I love you, and your sisters and brother, and your father all at once."
"No, I mean..." Here she faltered, without words, tiptoeing around the secret. "I mean, can one love more than one person as you love Papa?"
Mama paused in her sewing this time, and the look she gave Summer was even stranger than the first. "I... I don't know. Why do you ask?"
She retreated, quickly as she could. "I was only wondering."
Mama did not stop looking at her in that strange way. "Summer, love, you know you can tell me anything."
Summer blinked. "Of course, Mama." After all, did not Mama know about Ivy and her Gina? About Gina's husband and the dark-haired man he kissed? Mama knew and did not object, because her children were happy, and that was all that mattered.
Well, and Summer thought Mama honestly did not care about Lord Carew or the man he kissed, except insofar as they were kind to Ivy, and to Gina, and to Summer herself.
She went to her sister next.
It was not that she particularly wanted to go to Ivy, but Aaron was too far away and she was still a little shy of disturbing Gina. Besides, it wasn't as if Ivy deliberately gave bad advice. So she wrote to her sister, explaining her question, and waited impatiently for a reply.
When it came, she near snatched it from her mother and ran up to her room, then opened it and read the neatly crabbed lines. Ivy was trying to save paper again. At least she hadn't crossed her lines; that hurt Summer's eyes and made it near impossible for her to read.
My dearest sister;
What a question! I hardly know how to answer it. I suspect this is less hypothetical than you made it out to be. Well, we'll let that lie.
You ask me if someone can love more than one person. The easy answer is yes, of course; there are so many different kinds of love that I would think it impossible to love only one person. But you and I both know that isn't what you are asking, so here is my answer:
I don't know.
I know that I love Gina, and I will never love anyone as I love her. I have desired others, and that too is a kind of attraction, but not as you or I would see it. But you may be different, my love. I am inclined to think that the answer is no, but I cannot say that honestly. I don't know.
Why don't you ask Aaron?
All my love;
Ivy
Summer sighed, and laid the letter aside. Just as Mama had said, and she was still no closer to an answer.
Aaron came to visit not long after, with Clara and the children, and Summer remembered Ivy's advice. It was good advice; Aaron was the wisest person she knew. So after dinner she drew him aside and put her question to him in a low voice, taking up her embroidery as a cover.
Aaron, wise as he was, leaned close and pretended to admire it. "Of course they can," he said, in a low voice, pointing to some stitch of hers, Summer cared not which. "People do it all the time."
"I don't mean like that," she said. "I mean can people love more than one person the way you love Clara."
"I know what you meant," Aaron said. "My answer's the same. Of course they can. Did you think that Clara was the first person I've loved in my life?"
Summer blinked. She had thought that. "Is she not?"
He smiled gently. "No, she is not. There were others that I've loved, and I love them still. I think perhaps your loves grow stronger or weaker with time or distance, but they are loves nonetheless."
"Would you go back to them?" Summer asked. "If they wanted."
He shook his head. "I've made a promise to Clara, and I do love her very much, pet. Don't ever question that. But that does not mean I don't love them."
She thought for a moment, setting stitches absently. "So you... if you... If she said you could. And still love her. Would you?"
It was Aaron's turn to think, while she embroidered. Finally, he said, "I don't know, Summer. Perhaps. Does that answer your question?"
She nodded, slowly. "I think it does."
Maybe she was wrong. Maybe three people could not all love one another and still be happy. But she had been agonizing over who to choose, back when she thought they were both courting her separately, and she knew she could be happy with them both, if they let her.
Maybe she was wrong. And maybe she was not.
She took a deep breath. They would be here soon.
She was ready.
Rating: G
Summary: Summer isn't sure if this is even possible.
Warnings: none.
Notes: Followup to this piece.
There were no rules for this.
That was the trouble with it all. Summer had rules for everything—how to sit and stand and speak and be silent—and while another girl her age might have chafed at such stricture, she loved it. It made her feel so much more comfortable, so much more stable when she might have been all asea. And there were no rules for this.
Or, well, not precisely.
She had been taught how to receive a marriage proposal. Gina, who had received six, had laid it all out for her in simple steps. First, thank the gentleman for his interest, second, choose whether or not you are also interested in him, third, render the appropriate answer. For Gina that answer had always been no. For Summer it was a moot point, as no gentleman had indicated such an interest, but it seemed a relatively simple process and she had been sure she would have no trouble.
How was she to know it was anything but?
Had she even thanked them for their interest? She could not remember. They had been honest with her, at least. She was very grateful for that.
The worst part was that she couldn't ask Gina, or Ivy, or Mama, or anyone for advice. Mr. Ryan and Mr. Claro had not given her permission to tell anyone about them, and it was a rule, a hard and fast rule that one did not tell others' secrets without their permission. Especially not when the secrets were so... she did not know the word.
Of course, there were things one could say, ways she could ask without revealing anything, or at least if she asked correctly, which she did not at all have faith that she could do.
"Mama," she asked, "is it possible to love more than one person? I mean, at the same time," for she knew it was perfectly possible to love again after a loss. She had only to look to her sister for that.
Mama gave her a strange look, and said, "Of course it is. I love you, and your sisters and brother, and your father all at once."
"No, I mean..." Here she faltered, without words, tiptoeing around the secret. "I mean, can one love more than one person as you love Papa?"
Mama paused in her sewing this time, and the look she gave Summer was even stranger than the first. "I... I don't know. Why do you ask?"
She retreated, quickly as she could. "I was only wondering."
Mama did not stop looking at her in that strange way. "Summer, love, you know you can tell me anything."
Summer blinked. "Of course, Mama." After all, did not Mama know about Ivy and her Gina? About Gina's husband and the dark-haired man he kissed? Mama knew and did not object, because her children were happy, and that was all that mattered.
Well, and Summer thought Mama honestly did not care about Lord Carew or the man he kissed, except insofar as they were kind to Ivy, and to Gina, and to Summer herself.
She went to her sister next.
It was not that she particularly wanted to go to Ivy, but Aaron was too far away and she was still a little shy of disturbing Gina. Besides, it wasn't as if Ivy deliberately gave bad advice. So she wrote to her sister, explaining her question, and waited impatiently for a reply.
When it came, she near snatched it from her mother and ran up to her room, then opened it and read the neatly crabbed lines. Ivy was trying to save paper again. At least she hadn't crossed her lines; that hurt Summer's eyes and made it near impossible for her to read.
My dearest sister;
What a question! I hardly know how to answer it. I suspect this is less hypothetical than you made it out to be. Well, we'll let that lie.
You ask me if someone can love more than one person. The easy answer is yes, of course; there are so many different kinds of love that I would think it impossible to love only one person. But you and I both know that isn't what you are asking, so here is my answer:
I don't know.
I know that I love Gina, and I will never love anyone as I love her. I have desired others, and that too is a kind of attraction, but not as you or I would see it. But you may be different, my love. I am inclined to think that the answer is no, but I cannot say that honestly. I don't know.
Why don't you ask Aaron?
All my love;
Ivy
Summer sighed, and laid the letter aside. Just as Mama had said, and she was still no closer to an answer.
Aaron came to visit not long after, with Clara and the children, and Summer remembered Ivy's advice. It was good advice; Aaron was the wisest person she knew. So after dinner she drew him aside and put her question to him in a low voice, taking up her embroidery as a cover.
Aaron, wise as he was, leaned close and pretended to admire it. "Of course they can," he said, in a low voice, pointing to some stitch of hers, Summer cared not which. "People do it all the time."
"I don't mean like that," she said. "I mean can people love more than one person the way you love Clara."
"I know what you meant," Aaron said. "My answer's the same. Of course they can. Did you think that Clara was the first person I've loved in my life?"
Summer blinked. She had thought that. "Is she not?"
He smiled gently. "No, she is not. There were others that I've loved, and I love them still. I think perhaps your loves grow stronger or weaker with time or distance, but they are loves nonetheless."
"Would you go back to them?" Summer asked. "If they wanted."
He shook his head. "I've made a promise to Clara, and I do love her very much, pet. Don't ever question that. But that does not mean I don't love them."
She thought for a moment, setting stitches absently. "So you... if you... If she said you could. And still love her. Would you?"
It was Aaron's turn to think, while she embroidered. Finally, he said, "I don't know, Summer. Perhaps. Does that answer your question?"
She nodded, slowly. "I think it does."
Maybe she was wrong. Maybe three people could not all love one another and still be happy. But she had been agonizing over who to choose, back when she thought they were both courting her separately, and she knew she could be happy with them both, if they let her.
Maybe she was wrong. And maybe she was not.
She took a deep breath. They would be here soon.
She was ready.
