Really and Truly
Jan. 1st, 2014 08:14 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
intheheartTitle: Really and Truly
Rating: PG
Summary: Daddy is really and truly Ivy's daddy, no matter what Ellen says.
Warnings: kids being cruel.
Notes: Let's revisit an old-school piece, shall we?
"Ivy Sophia Hirschfeld-Kendall..."
Full name. Ivy shrank in her seat.
Daddy didn't really look mad, exactly. He looked tired, more, and annoyed. But he'd used her full name and that always meant that she was in so much trouble and it wasn't fair, because she'd had to hit Ellen, she really had. Even if Mommy said you didn't hit anybody, Ellen had deserved it.
She missed what Daddy said to the principal, but Ellen's voice was all shrieky and whiny, like a siren. "I didn't do anything!" she was saying, wiping at her nose and pretending to cry. "We were playing on the swings and then she just hit me!"
Rage crossed Ivy's eyes. "That's not true," she yelped, and glared at Ellen, who flinched and pretend-cried louder. "Stop lying, you liar!"
"Ivy," Daddy said, in the same quiet voice Mommy used when somebody was going to get spanked. Ivy huddled further in her chair and refused to look at him.
"You heard what she said!" Mrs. Carson yelled. "That little brat hit my poor baby!"
Ivy scowled. She hadn't liked Mrs. Carson even when she'd liked Ellen. Which she didn't anymore because Ellen was mean and stupid.
But then Daddy spoke and a brief astonished joy ran through her. "My daughter is not a brat, and I would appreciate it if you would refrain from namecalling, Mrs...?" He was mad, yeah, really mad, but maybe not at her...
"Carson," Mrs. Carson said, in the stuck-up voice that made Ivy so mad.
"Yes, thank you, Mrs. Carson, we're aware of what happened," the principal said, and he sounded so much like he was talking to a stuck-up kid that Ivy nearly giggled. "Ivy, would you like to give us your side of the story?"
Oh. No. No, she did not. Ivy shook her head and stared at her lap. If she did tell then Mrs. Carson would laugh at her and Ellen would say all the mean things again and maybe—maybe Daddy and the principal would agree with her and then it would all be true, and then Ivy would cry in front of all of them and she would not, she would not cry in front of Ellen.
"Ivy," and that was Daddy, and he sounded like he was trying to stay calm, "would you please tell me why you hit your friend?"
Ivy scowled at Ellen. "She's not my friend."
Mrs. Carson shrieked and Ellen shrank back and Daddy—Daddy just looked tired.
--
Ivy didn't quite dare hide in her room when they got home. Daddy had threatened a talk and she knew that meant trouble if she wasn't careful, but if she didn't talk to Daddy she would have to talk to Mommy and Mommy would be louder probably. She curled up on the couch instead and tried to look pathetic, in hopes that Daddy would be nice and leave her alone.
'Course she felt pretty pathetic so it wasn't hard.
Daddy sat down next to her and looked at her. She wasn't looking but she knew he was looking at her, 'cause it always felt all heavy and sad. "You want to tell me what all that was about?" he asked.
Not pathetic enough. "No," Ivy said, and shook her head for emphasis.
Daddy put his arm around her shoulders and hugged her so tight she scooted across the couch and right up by his side. "I think you better tell me, love," he said, and he sounded so kind and warm that tears lumped up in Ivy's throat.
"She said you weren't my real dad," she said, swallowing down tears and apparently she'd said it into her knees because Daddy pulled her chin up and asked her again and she had to say it again, and it hurt even more the second time. "She said you only married Mama 'cause you felt bad for her, because she had me and I didn't have any dad, and she said my real dad didn't want me, and she said I was stupid if I thought it was any different. So I hit her."
Because she had to be hit because it wasn't true and if Ivy didn't hit her then it would be true, and Ivy could not bear the thought of it being true.
"Hitting her didn't make her stop saying those things, sweetheart," Daddy said.
Which wasn't true. A faint spark of a giggle tickled her tummy. "Yes, it did," she said. "She was screaming too much after I hit her."
"Ivy," and Daddy sounded mad again. Ivy shrank.
"She said her mama said it," she said, trying not to beg. "She said everybody said it. And if everybody says it, doesn't that mean it has to be true?" The lump of tears in her throat was bigger now, sneaking out the corners of her voice.
"Absolutely not," Daddy said, so firmly it made Ivy jump a little in surprise. "If everybody says it, that just means that everybody says it. It has no effect whatsoever on whether it's true or not."
Except didn't it? Wasn't true what everyone agreed on? "Ellen said it was true." She swallowed back tears again. "Is there something wrong with me, Daddy?"
Oh no, oh no, she hadn't meant to say that, somebody would always say yes when you asked that, and anyway it was what a crybaby would say. Ivy was not a crybaby and she knew she was perfect, Mommy said so all the time, but it had slipped out anyway and now Daddy would say yes and she would have to cry again and Daddy would think she was a crybaby and then maybe he'd go away just like her first daddy and...
"No, sweetheart," Daddy said, and he sounded like he wanted to cry himself. He picked her up and put her in his lap, and even though she was a big girl and didn't need to sit on Daddy's lap anymore, she stayed because it felt kind of nice to be there. "There's nothing wrong with you at all," Daddy went on, fierce. "There's something wrong with Mrs. Carson and there's a lot of things wrong with your biological father, but there's nothing at all wrong with you."
Ivy pressed her face into Daddy's chest because tears were sneaking out and she didn't want him to see. "Really and truly?"
"Really and truly," Daddy said. "Listen, love. I am your father. I will always be your father, for as long as you want me to be. That's what my adopting you means. I am your father."
She pressed closer, and Daddy started to rub her back, gentle like Mommy did when she was sick. "I'm glad," she said, and meant it, because she'd always wanted a daddy and Daddy was the best one ever, all warm and kind and perfect, and if he said he'd never go away than he meant it, because Daddy never lied and definitely not to her.
She should get up. She should rub her eyes and take the rest of the lecture Daddy was going to give her and get whatever punishment he was going to give, but she really didn't want to. She just wanted to sit in Daddy's lap and be petted, like she was a baby again, like nothing bad had ever happened and nobody had ever said he wasn't her daddy. She was a big girl, though. She should act like it.
Well.
Maybe just a little while longer.
Rating: PG
Summary: Daddy is really and truly Ivy's daddy, no matter what Ellen says.
Warnings: kids being cruel.
Notes: Let's revisit an old-school piece, shall we?
"Ivy Sophia Hirschfeld-Kendall..."
Full name. Ivy shrank in her seat.
Daddy didn't really look mad, exactly. He looked tired, more, and annoyed. But he'd used her full name and that always meant that she was in so much trouble and it wasn't fair, because she'd had to hit Ellen, she really had. Even if Mommy said you didn't hit anybody, Ellen had deserved it.
She missed what Daddy said to the principal, but Ellen's voice was all shrieky and whiny, like a siren. "I didn't do anything!" she was saying, wiping at her nose and pretending to cry. "We were playing on the swings and then she just hit me!"
Rage crossed Ivy's eyes. "That's not true," she yelped, and glared at Ellen, who flinched and pretend-cried louder. "Stop lying, you liar!"
"Ivy," Daddy said, in the same quiet voice Mommy used when somebody was going to get spanked. Ivy huddled further in her chair and refused to look at him.
"You heard what she said!" Mrs. Carson yelled. "That little brat hit my poor baby!"
Ivy scowled. She hadn't liked Mrs. Carson even when she'd liked Ellen. Which she didn't anymore because Ellen was mean and stupid.
But then Daddy spoke and a brief astonished joy ran through her. "My daughter is not a brat, and I would appreciate it if you would refrain from namecalling, Mrs...?" He was mad, yeah, really mad, but maybe not at her...
"Carson," Mrs. Carson said, in the stuck-up voice that made Ivy so mad.
"Yes, thank you, Mrs. Carson, we're aware of what happened," the principal said, and he sounded so much like he was talking to a stuck-up kid that Ivy nearly giggled. "Ivy, would you like to give us your side of the story?"
Oh. No. No, she did not. Ivy shook her head and stared at her lap. If she did tell then Mrs. Carson would laugh at her and Ellen would say all the mean things again and maybe—maybe Daddy and the principal would agree with her and then it would all be true, and then Ivy would cry in front of all of them and she would not, she would not cry in front of Ellen.
"Ivy," and that was Daddy, and he sounded like he was trying to stay calm, "would you please tell me why you hit your friend?"
Ivy scowled at Ellen. "She's not my friend."
Mrs. Carson shrieked and Ellen shrank back and Daddy—Daddy just looked tired.
--
Ivy didn't quite dare hide in her room when they got home. Daddy had threatened a talk and she knew that meant trouble if she wasn't careful, but if she didn't talk to Daddy she would have to talk to Mommy and Mommy would be louder probably. She curled up on the couch instead and tried to look pathetic, in hopes that Daddy would be nice and leave her alone.
'Course she felt pretty pathetic so it wasn't hard.
Daddy sat down next to her and looked at her. She wasn't looking but she knew he was looking at her, 'cause it always felt all heavy and sad. "You want to tell me what all that was about?" he asked.
Not pathetic enough. "No," Ivy said, and shook her head for emphasis.
Daddy put his arm around her shoulders and hugged her so tight she scooted across the couch and right up by his side. "I think you better tell me, love," he said, and he sounded so kind and warm that tears lumped up in Ivy's throat.
"She said you weren't my real dad," she said, swallowing down tears and apparently she'd said it into her knees because Daddy pulled her chin up and asked her again and she had to say it again, and it hurt even more the second time. "She said you only married Mama 'cause you felt bad for her, because she had me and I didn't have any dad, and she said my real dad didn't want me, and she said I was stupid if I thought it was any different. So I hit her."
Because she had to be hit because it wasn't true and if Ivy didn't hit her then it would be true, and Ivy could not bear the thought of it being true.
"Hitting her didn't make her stop saying those things, sweetheart," Daddy said.
Which wasn't true. A faint spark of a giggle tickled her tummy. "Yes, it did," she said. "She was screaming too much after I hit her."
"Ivy," and Daddy sounded mad again. Ivy shrank.
"She said her mama said it," she said, trying not to beg. "She said everybody said it. And if everybody says it, doesn't that mean it has to be true?" The lump of tears in her throat was bigger now, sneaking out the corners of her voice.
"Absolutely not," Daddy said, so firmly it made Ivy jump a little in surprise. "If everybody says it, that just means that everybody says it. It has no effect whatsoever on whether it's true or not."
Except didn't it? Wasn't true what everyone agreed on? "Ellen said it was true." She swallowed back tears again. "Is there something wrong with me, Daddy?"
Oh no, oh no, she hadn't meant to say that, somebody would always say yes when you asked that, and anyway it was what a crybaby would say. Ivy was not a crybaby and she knew she was perfect, Mommy said so all the time, but it had slipped out anyway and now Daddy would say yes and she would have to cry again and Daddy would think she was a crybaby and then maybe he'd go away just like her first daddy and...
"No, sweetheart," Daddy said, and he sounded like he wanted to cry himself. He picked her up and put her in his lap, and even though she was a big girl and didn't need to sit on Daddy's lap anymore, she stayed because it felt kind of nice to be there. "There's nothing wrong with you at all," Daddy went on, fierce. "There's something wrong with Mrs. Carson and there's a lot of things wrong with your biological father, but there's nothing at all wrong with you."
Ivy pressed her face into Daddy's chest because tears were sneaking out and she didn't want him to see. "Really and truly?"
"Really and truly," Daddy said. "Listen, love. I am your father. I will always be your father, for as long as you want me to be. That's what my adopting you means. I am your father."
She pressed closer, and Daddy started to rub her back, gentle like Mommy did when she was sick. "I'm glad," she said, and meant it, because she'd always wanted a daddy and Daddy was the best one ever, all warm and kind and perfect, and if he said he'd never go away than he meant it, because Daddy never lied and definitely not to her.
She should get up. She should rub her eyes and take the rest of the lecture Daddy was going to give her and get whatever punishment he was going to give, but she really didn't want to. She just wanted to sit in Daddy's lap and be petted, like she was a baby again, like nothing bad had ever happened and nobody had ever said he wasn't her daddy. She was a big girl, though. She should act like it.
Well.
Maybe just a little while longer.
