![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
intheheartTitle: Float On
Rating: PG-13.
Summary: Aaron Kendall in twenty songs or less.
Notes: Man, Aaron had it easy. Aaron played by Daniel Vettori.
Warnings: Sexual privilege. Nope, that's it.
Float On, Ben Lee
Well, we'll float on, good news is on the way
And we'll all float on okay
And we'll all float on okay
Aaron had been laid back his whole life. Even as a baby he hadn't fussed much (though when he did, it was apparently epic). He'd just never seen the point in getting too worked up about everyday things-- being shoved on the subway, for example, or flipped off in the street.
The best thing he could give those people was validation.
The best thing he could give himself was peace of mind.
Shut Up and Smile, Bowling for Soup
throw your arms around someone (throw your arms around someone)
maybe spread a little love
I know it sounds a little dumb (or maybe I’m a little drunk)
But all we need is some ice cream and a hug
Which was not to say he didn't have causes. There were things that needed to be fought-- racism, sexism, homophobia, he fought them tooth and nail, oddly enough for the same reason he didn't sweat the small stuff.
The world, Aaron figured, was a dark and scary place already. It was his responsibility to make it better, just as it was the responsibility of every other human alive. And the best way to do that was to treat everyone with respect.
He hoped he'd made it a little better, in his own small way.
I'm Happy Just To Dance With You, The Beatles
I don't want to kiss or hold your hand
If it's funny try and understand
There is really nothing else I'd rather do
'Cause I'm happy just to dance with you
When the other guys in his age group were talking about tits and ass and erections, Aaron alone admired beautiful girls and handsome men for pure aesthetics. Sex seemed (and was, as he discovered) messy and unpleasant; an unfortunate necessity for children, but otherwise unneeded. He never understood the single-minded sex drive of his peers.
Discovering AVEN was like a message from on high, complete with choir of angels.
At last, he had a name for it.
Bang On The Drum All Day, Todd Rundgren
Every day when I get home from work
I feel so frustrated, the boss is a jerk
I get my sticks and go out to the shed
And I pound on that drum like it was the boss's head
In school, computer engineering had seemed challenging and fun. In the real world, it was repetitive and irritating, with constant deadlines and pressure to churn out code. The elegant and high-functioning programs he'd written in college devolved into cookie-cutter login pages and boring layouts; the camaraderie he'd shared with classmates denigrated into grunted orders over coffee.
His advisor had given him a year before he tried for a career change.
He lasted six months. And that was with drumming.
Teach Your Children, Crosby, Stills, Nash & Young
Teach your children well, their father's hell did slowly go by,
And feed them on your dreams, the one they fix, the one you'll know by.
In hindsight, he really should've gone for the teaching certificate right off.
He'd always been fascinated by his stepmother's tales of her classroom days, always been interested in working with children. The siren song of better pay lured him away from the teaching path in college, but now he drifted back, started volunteering in classrooms, and got his teaching certificate.
The first time he stood in front of his very own classroom was terrifying and exhilarating, all at once.
Daydreamer, Adele
Plus he's there for you
When he shouldn't be
But he stays all the same
Waits for you
Then sees you through
He found it sort of baffling as a child that Ivy would come to him for help before either parent, but it warmed his heart all the same; it meant she was his sister now, really and truly.
When Summer was old enough to ask for help, he just assumed she was following in her sister's footsteps.
When his friends did it, he detected a pattern.
He didn't mind, though. It was nice being trusted that much. And he always saw them through.
It was the least he could do.
Next Ex-Girlfriend, Bowling For Soup
I don’t wanna get inside your mind or your pants
I don’t wanna waste my time with love and romance
I want my next ex-girlfriend, my next ex-girlfriend
After Joy broke up with him, he dated a string of girls who either didn't understand or didn't believe him when he said he was asexual. Towards the end he seriously contemplated giving up on the dating scene. Girls who didn't listen, girls who tried to trick him, girls who claimed he couldn't be asexual because he was a guy or it didn't exist... it was so infuriating, and it seemed endless. Even the few girls from AVEN he dated seemed skeptical of his asexuality.
Too bad Esther was too combative for him. She at least got it.
Nothing Without You, Vienna Teng
Oh call my name, you know my name.
And in that sound, everything will change.
Tell me it won't always be this hard.
I am nothing without you, but I don't know who you are.
Aaron could look at his parents, and see love, real love; his dad and his stepmother, his mother and his stepfather, both of them love matches. He could look at his sister and her girlfriend and see the same, even at Lars and Danny, for all they didn't seem to love each other on first sight.
He looked at them, and felt as if he was missing something.
He tried not to look at them too often.
Waltz of the Flowers, Tchaikovsky
[instrumental]
He took Clara out dancing at least once a week. Not at clubs; the dancing there was too sexually charged for them. Instead they went contra-dancing, waltzing, swing dancing. There was a surprisingly large ballroom dance community in New York, and they took full advantage of it.
He loved being so close to his wife, loved having the time with just the two of them. Their own version of sex, he supposed.
They always went home smiling.
You Can't Always Get What You Want, Glee
You can't always get what you want
You can't always get what you want
But if you try sometimes you find
You get what you need
The world wasn't perfect.
Good people still got hurt. No one ever got what they wanted all the time. Hearts got broken, children got hurt, people still died. The world wasn't perfect.
It had been getting better, though, a little bit every day during his lifetime. His life had gotten a little better every day. It had never exactly moved the way he'd wanted it to, but it had always gotten better.
The world would too.
Admiral and Commander, Bear McCreary
[instrumental]
Aaron didn't know where he would be without his father.
Well, nonexistent, if he was being really literal about it. But apart from that, he'd be... different. Less moral, he thought. Certainly less active in the world. His dad had taught him that it wasn't enough to not be the problem; he didn't know that he'd have learned that on his own.
His dad had taught him so many things, most importantly how to be a good man.
He hoped he could do the same for his own children.
The Perfect Fan, Backstreet Boys
It takes a lot to know what is love
It's not the big things, but the little things
That can mean enough
...And there is never a day that passes by
I don't think of you
When he was young, he'd thought he was the luckiest kid in the world, having two mothers. Gail was an awesome stepmother-- she treated him no differently from her biological kids, and while sometimes that involved groundings he could have done without, it was on the whole wonderful. And his mother...
His mother tried. He could see her trying, every day, and he knew how much she must love him, to try that hard.
He wasn't young anymore, but he was still pretty sure he was the luckiest guy in the world.
Hot Air Balloon, Owl City
I'll be out of my mind
and you'll be out of ideas pretty soon.
So let's spend the afternoon
in a cold hot air balloon.
Ivy could be a challenge.
He'd been really excited to have a little sister, and then he'd discovered that one of the primary functions of little sisters was to drive their older siblings mad. He'd thought for a while that there was something wrong with him, that sometimes he couldn't stand Ivy-- weren't brothers meant to love their sisters?
Then he discovered that he did love her, all the time, even when she was irritating. He loved her anyway.
If he wanted to shake her sometimes, well, that was part of having a sister.
I'll Stand By You, Glee
I'll stand by you
I'll stand by you
Won't let nobody hurt you
I'll stand by you
Summer was an entirely different story.
They'd known, all of them, that she was a strange kid, but it wasn't until she was diagnosed that they really knew why. It helped, or at least it helped Aaron, to know why his baby sister couldn't make friends, didn't do well in social situations. It helped him know how to help her.
That he would help her was never in question. She was his baby sister, after all.
It Only Takes A Moment, John Barrowman
I held her for an instant
But my arms felt sure and strong
It only takes a moment
To be loved a whole life long...
Aaron had never really believed in love at first sight. It seemed like one of those stupid fairytale myths made up by people who confused desire with love. And sure, Ivy had decided pretty much on sight that she wanted Gina, but she hadn't fallen in love for months. And sure, his dad said he'd decided to marry Gail on the third date, but that wasn't exactly first sight.
And then he saw Clara, in her burgundy shirt and shy, sweet smile, and revised his opinions on the spot.
Into the Dark, Ben Lee
Don't worry, baby, 'bout how it should be
I sent a message out into the dark
I'd rather talk to you 'bout how it could be
I've gotta find my way to your heart
Dating Clara was the easiest thing he'd ever done.
It wasn't that he didn't have moments of stress and panic and confusion. Those came with any relationship. But he was so happy to be with her and she with him that the tangled, painful moments seemed like tiny speedbumps.
He knew he loved her. He just didn't know if she loved him. The simplest way to find out was to ask, so he did.
She didn't even need to answer verbally-- the dazzling smile was more than enough.
Trucker Hat, Bowling for Soup
I’ll never go out of style on you
And nothing really feels the way you do
Nothing in the world could ever make me look as good
When you fit me like you do
He'd heard about Ivy and the dancing waiters, and he did not want to do anything resembling that fiasco. But at the same time, he didn't want to follow in his dad's footsteps; while that impromptu proposal was right for Dad and Gail, he wanted something more romantic for Clara.
It had to be unique, though, and perfect, just like Clara.
It took a long time (and one failed songwriting attempt), before he found the perfect way to propose.
He couldn't recall ever being happier than he was when she said yes.
Baby, I Love You, the Ramones
Baby, I love you
Come on baby
Baby, I love you
Baby I love, I love only you
If he'd been told to design his perfect woman, she would not have been as good for him as Clara was.
Aaron didn't really know how to explain it-- she just fit, somehow, invisibly and perfectly into his life. Her ragged edges matched up with his, made them one smooth and seamless whole.
He'd never really believed in soulmates any more than he'd believed in love at first sight.
There went another opinion out the window.
For Baby, John Denver
I'll be there when you're feeling down to kiss away the tears that you cry.
I'll share with you all the happiness I've found, a reflection of the love in your eyes.
He'd wanted to be a father for most of his life-- well, how could he not, with a father as wonderful as his. To his delight, Clara wanted children too, and five years after they married, they had money, a house, and time.
They weren't expecting twins.
But for all the screaming and the fights and the emergencies, Molly and Billy were the best thing that had ever happened to him, besides their mother. He made them silent promises, every day-- I'm your father, and I'll be good at it.
He could only hope he kept them.
Affirmation, Savage Garden
I believe forgiveness is the key to your own happiness
I believe that wedded bliss negates the need to be undressed
I believe that God does not endorse TV evangelists
I believe in love surviving death into eternity
"Love is a gift," he told his children, "and there's so many ways to love someone. There's the way I love Mommy, and the way I love you; the way I love Aunt Ivy and Aunt Summer, and the way I love Uncle Jake and Uncle Lars. There's the way I love Aunt Joy, that's different too. You can love somebody in so many different ways, but you can only hate someone in one way. So choose to love them."
He didn't think the twins really understood-- they were only four.
But it was good to teach them early.
Rating: PG-13.
Summary: Aaron Kendall in twenty songs or less.
Notes: Man, Aaron had it easy. Aaron played by Daniel Vettori.
Warnings: Sexual privilege. Nope, that's it.
Well, we'll float on, good news is on the way
And we'll all float on okay
And we'll all float on okay
Aaron had been laid back his whole life. Even as a baby he hadn't fussed much (though when he did, it was apparently epic). He'd just never seen the point in getting too worked up about everyday things-- being shoved on the subway, for example, or flipped off in the street.
The best thing he could give those people was validation.
The best thing he could give himself was peace of mind.
throw your arms around someone (throw your arms around someone)
maybe spread a little love
I know it sounds a little dumb (or maybe I’m a little drunk)
But all we need is some ice cream and a hug
Which was not to say he didn't have causes. There were things that needed to be fought-- racism, sexism, homophobia, he fought them tooth and nail, oddly enough for the same reason he didn't sweat the small stuff.
The world, Aaron figured, was a dark and scary place already. It was his responsibility to make it better, just as it was the responsibility of every other human alive. And the best way to do that was to treat everyone with respect.
He hoped he'd made it a little better, in his own small way.
I don't want to kiss or hold your hand
If it's funny try and understand
There is really nothing else I'd rather do
'Cause I'm happy just to dance with you
When the other guys in his age group were talking about tits and ass and erections, Aaron alone admired beautiful girls and handsome men for pure aesthetics. Sex seemed (and was, as he discovered) messy and unpleasant; an unfortunate necessity for children, but otherwise unneeded. He never understood the single-minded sex drive of his peers.
Discovering AVEN was like a message from on high, complete with choir of angels.
At last, he had a name for it.
Every day when I get home from work
I feel so frustrated, the boss is a jerk
I get my sticks and go out to the shed
And I pound on that drum like it was the boss's head
In school, computer engineering had seemed challenging and fun. In the real world, it was repetitive and irritating, with constant deadlines and pressure to churn out code. The elegant and high-functioning programs he'd written in college devolved into cookie-cutter login pages and boring layouts; the camaraderie he'd shared with classmates denigrated into grunted orders over coffee.
His advisor had given him a year before he tried for a career change.
He lasted six months. And that was with drumming.
Teach your children well, their father's hell did slowly go by,
And feed them on your dreams, the one they fix, the one you'll know by.
In hindsight, he really should've gone for the teaching certificate right off.
He'd always been fascinated by his stepmother's tales of her classroom days, always been interested in working with children. The siren song of better pay lured him away from the teaching path in college, but now he drifted back, started volunteering in classrooms, and got his teaching certificate.
The first time he stood in front of his very own classroom was terrifying and exhilarating, all at once.
Plus he's there for you
When he shouldn't be
But he stays all the same
Waits for you
Then sees you through
He found it sort of baffling as a child that Ivy would come to him for help before either parent, but it warmed his heart all the same; it meant she was his sister now, really and truly.
When Summer was old enough to ask for help, he just assumed she was following in her sister's footsteps.
When his friends did it, he detected a pattern.
He didn't mind, though. It was nice being trusted that much. And he always saw them through.
It was the least he could do.
I don’t wanna get inside your mind or your pants
I don’t wanna waste my time with love and romance
I want my next ex-girlfriend, my next ex-girlfriend
After Joy broke up with him, he dated a string of girls who either didn't understand or didn't believe him when he said he was asexual. Towards the end he seriously contemplated giving up on the dating scene. Girls who didn't listen, girls who tried to trick him, girls who claimed he couldn't be asexual because he was a guy or it didn't exist... it was so infuriating, and it seemed endless. Even the few girls from AVEN he dated seemed skeptical of his asexuality.
Too bad Esther was too combative for him. She at least got it.
Oh call my name, you know my name.
And in that sound, everything will change.
Tell me it won't always be this hard.
I am nothing without you, but I don't know who you are.
Aaron could look at his parents, and see love, real love; his dad and his stepmother, his mother and his stepfather, both of them love matches. He could look at his sister and her girlfriend and see the same, even at Lars and Danny, for all they didn't seem to love each other on first sight.
He looked at them, and felt as if he was missing something.
He tried not to look at them too often.
[instrumental]
He took Clara out dancing at least once a week. Not at clubs; the dancing there was too sexually charged for them. Instead they went contra-dancing, waltzing, swing dancing. There was a surprisingly large ballroom dance community in New York, and they took full advantage of it.
He loved being so close to his wife, loved having the time with just the two of them. Their own version of sex, he supposed.
They always went home smiling.
You can't always get what you want
You can't always get what you want
But if you try sometimes you find
You get what you need
The world wasn't perfect.
Good people still got hurt. No one ever got what they wanted all the time. Hearts got broken, children got hurt, people still died. The world wasn't perfect.
It had been getting better, though, a little bit every day during his lifetime. His life had gotten a little better every day. It had never exactly moved the way he'd wanted it to, but it had always gotten better.
The world would too.
[instrumental]
Aaron didn't know where he would be without his father.
Well, nonexistent, if he was being really literal about it. But apart from that, he'd be... different. Less moral, he thought. Certainly less active in the world. His dad had taught him that it wasn't enough to not be the problem; he didn't know that he'd have learned that on his own.
His dad had taught him so many things, most importantly how to be a good man.
He hoped he could do the same for his own children.
It takes a lot to know what is love
It's not the big things, but the little things
That can mean enough
...And there is never a day that passes by
I don't think of you
When he was young, he'd thought he was the luckiest kid in the world, having two mothers. Gail was an awesome stepmother-- she treated him no differently from her biological kids, and while sometimes that involved groundings he could have done without, it was on the whole wonderful. And his mother...
His mother tried. He could see her trying, every day, and he knew how much she must love him, to try that hard.
He wasn't young anymore, but he was still pretty sure he was the luckiest guy in the world.
I'll be out of my mind
and you'll be out of ideas pretty soon.
So let's spend the afternoon
in a cold hot air balloon.
Ivy could be a challenge.
He'd been really excited to have a little sister, and then he'd discovered that one of the primary functions of little sisters was to drive their older siblings mad. He'd thought for a while that there was something wrong with him, that sometimes he couldn't stand Ivy-- weren't brothers meant to love their sisters?
Then he discovered that he did love her, all the time, even when she was irritating. He loved her anyway.
If he wanted to shake her sometimes, well, that was part of having a sister.
I'll stand by you
I'll stand by you
Won't let nobody hurt you
I'll stand by you
Summer was an entirely different story.
They'd known, all of them, that she was a strange kid, but it wasn't until she was diagnosed that they really knew why. It helped, or at least it helped Aaron, to know why his baby sister couldn't make friends, didn't do well in social situations. It helped him know how to help her.
That he would help her was never in question. She was his baby sister, after all.
I held her for an instant
But my arms felt sure and strong
It only takes a moment
To be loved a whole life long...
Aaron had never really believed in love at first sight. It seemed like one of those stupid fairytale myths made up by people who confused desire with love. And sure, Ivy had decided pretty much on sight that she wanted Gina, but she hadn't fallen in love for months. And sure, his dad said he'd decided to marry Gail on the third date, but that wasn't exactly first sight.
And then he saw Clara, in her burgundy shirt and shy, sweet smile, and revised his opinions on the spot.
Don't worry, baby, 'bout how it should be
I sent a message out into the dark
I'd rather talk to you 'bout how it could be
I've gotta find my way to your heart
Dating Clara was the easiest thing he'd ever done.
It wasn't that he didn't have moments of stress and panic and confusion. Those came with any relationship. But he was so happy to be with her and she with him that the tangled, painful moments seemed like tiny speedbumps.
He knew he loved her. He just didn't know if she loved him. The simplest way to find out was to ask, so he did.
She didn't even need to answer verbally-- the dazzling smile was more than enough.
I’ll never go out of style on you
And nothing really feels the way you do
Nothing in the world could ever make me look as good
When you fit me like you do
He'd heard about Ivy and the dancing waiters, and he did not want to do anything resembling that fiasco. But at the same time, he didn't want to follow in his dad's footsteps; while that impromptu proposal was right for Dad and Gail, he wanted something more romantic for Clara.
It had to be unique, though, and perfect, just like Clara.
It took a long time (and one failed songwriting attempt), before he found the perfect way to propose.
He couldn't recall ever being happier than he was when she said yes.
Baby, I love you
Come on baby
Baby, I love you
Baby I love, I love only you
If he'd been told to design his perfect woman, she would not have been as good for him as Clara was.
Aaron didn't really know how to explain it-- she just fit, somehow, invisibly and perfectly into his life. Her ragged edges matched up with his, made them one smooth and seamless whole.
He'd never really believed in soulmates any more than he'd believed in love at first sight.
There went another opinion out the window.
I'll be there when you're feeling down to kiss away the tears that you cry.
I'll share with you all the happiness I've found, a reflection of the love in your eyes.
He'd wanted to be a father for most of his life-- well, how could he not, with a father as wonderful as his. To his delight, Clara wanted children too, and five years after they married, they had money, a house, and time.
They weren't expecting twins.
But for all the screaming and the fights and the emergencies, Molly and Billy were the best thing that had ever happened to him, besides their mother. He made them silent promises, every day-- I'm your father, and I'll be good at it.
He could only hope he kept them.
I believe forgiveness is the key to your own happiness
I believe that wedded bliss negates the need to be undressed
I believe that God does not endorse TV evangelists
I believe in love surviving death into eternity
"Love is a gift," he told his children, "and there's so many ways to love someone. There's the way I love Mommy, and the way I love you; the way I love Aunt Ivy and Aunt Summer, and the way I love Uncle Jake and Uncle Lars. There's the way I love Aunt Joy, that's different too. You can love somebody in so many different ways, but you can only hate someone in one way. So choose to love them."
He didn't think the twins really understood-- they were only four.
But it was good to teach them early.
