Impassioned

[intheheart]

Title: Impassioned
Rating: R
Summary: Ivy Hirschfeld-Kendall in twenty songs or less.
Notes: Ivy is played by the lovely and talented Ms. Neko Case.
WARNING for sexual content, implications of sexism, homophobia.







Don't Rain On My Parade, Glee Cast
Don't tell me not to fly-- I've simply got to.
If someone takes a spill, it's me and not you.
Who told you you're allowed to rain on my parade?



"Hey, Vee," Aaron said. "They're playing your song." He leaned over, turned the radio up.

Ivy made a face and scrunched down in her seat. "It is not my song, and why do you have the Glee soundtrack? And why do you get to drive?"

"I get to drive because you got us lost in a two-street town," he said. "You can't talk about Glee, you actually watch it."

"Dianna Agron is hot," she said. "And it isn't my song."

"It is," Aaron said, "little miss reckless," and made a right.



I'm Coming Out, Diana Ross
I'm coming out
I want the world to know
Got to let it show



When Ivy actually thought about it, no one should have been surprised that she was gay. She'd never wanted to hear about the princes in fairy tales, preferring to imagine the princesses on their own. She'd never been interested in the latest teen heartthrob, instead daydreaming about Mariah Carey or Christina Aguilera. She'd never blinked twice at the football team, but saved her smiles for the cheerleaders.

Really, it was sort of amazing it took her as long as it did to come out.



Watch Me Shine, Joanna Pacitti
Better watch out, going for the knockout
And I won't stop till I'm on top now
Not gonna give up until I get what's mine



Prudence knocked, but came in without waiting for an answer. "Hey, Ivy, you get your grades back?"

Ivy closed the browser window and spun in her chair, grinning up at her friend. "Straight A's. Not bad for a girl who flunked her first test."

Prudence grinned back. "Not bad at all. Of course, now you have to keep that up or everyone's going to be disappointed."

Ivy cracked her knuckles. "I'll do it," she said. "I'd like to see someone try and stop me."



Stamp Your Feet, Donna Summer
I said stamp your feet on the ground
Make it really loud, make the biggest sound
You ain't goin'...
Stamp your feet on the ground
Make it really loud
You ain't going, you ain't goin' down



She wasn't sure if it was because she was a woman, or because she was gay. Maybe it was because she was too outspoken, too much of a bitch. Maybe they thought she was being snobby because she'd gone to Cornell. Whatever it was, it was fairly clear her boss didn't like her. At all.

Whatever it was, she'd been passed over for promotion for the last fucking time.

She dropped her resignation letter on her boss's desk with possibly unsuitable glee.



I Can Get What I Want, Banned of St. Trinian's
I can get what I want the more that I dream
The harder I scream oh believe me yeah
I can get what I want, can get what I need
So give in to me, it's easier



"How's the practice?" Gina asked, over dinner.

"Getting better," Ivy answered. "Still not great, but getting better." She grinned, rather smugly. "I keep getting calls from my old clients, wondering if I've got space."

"Promising," Gina said, twirling a strand of spaghetti around a fork.

"It's not the best part," Ivy said, even more smugly. "When they come in to see me, they always complain about my old boss and that ass-kisser he promoted instead of me. Apparently they're incompetent."

Gina laughed. "The best revenge," she said.

"Being more awesome than them," Ivy agreed.



I'm Not Sorry, I Was Having Fun, Chumbawumba
I'm not sorry, I was having fun
I'm not sorry



In retrospect, maybe the lighter fluid had not been the best of ideas.

Ivy felt the tender patches where her eyebrows used to be, and dabbed Neosporin on, gingerly. It still stung, and she was going to look strange at school for the next few days. Not to mention the lecture from both her parents and getting grounded 'for the foreseeable future,' which really meant 'until we think you're sorry.'

She remembered the blast, the glorious fireball, and grinned. She was going to be grounded for a long time.



Mouthwash, Kate Nash
And, this, is my mind
And although you try to infringe
You cannot confine
And, this, is my brain
And even if you try and hold me back
There's nothing that you can gain



The fifth time Seth Adaya hissed "Dyke" at her in the hallway, Ivy finally snapped and whirled on him.

"What is it about me that scares you so much?" she demanded. "Is it that I don't want to have sex with you? 'Cause for some undefineable reason a lot of other girls do. Go harass them."

Seth stepped back, staring. "I'm not afraid of you."

"Fear leads to anger," Ivy said. "Anger leads to hate. You hate me, you fear me, whatever, just leave me the fuck alone."



Don't Stop Me Now, Queen
So don't stop me now don't stop me
'Cause I'm having a good time having a good time



She was so done with finals. Not, alas, officially-- she had a chem exam the next day which she was so done cramming for-- but mentally, Ivy had had it. She dropped her pen noisily on her desk, put a Queen CD in, and cranked it up.

Thank God the beds in her dorm were specially reinforced. Decent air-guitaring required a lot of jumping up and down on the mattress.



She's A Wild One, Faith Hill
She's a wild one with an angel's face
She's a woman-child in a state of grace
When she was three years old on her daddy's knee
He said you can be anything you want to be
She's a wild one runnin' free



"I'm going to take over the world someday," Ivy said, over dishes.

Nathan grinned, and reached over to tousle his daughter's hair. "Sweetheart, if anyone could take over the world, it's you."

She ducked his hand absently and passed him a plate to be dried. "You sound like you don't believe me."

"Well..." he drew out the word. "It's not that I don't believe you, more that I think the world is too complex to be run by any one person."

"I could do it," Ivy said.

"Yes," he said. "You could."



The Elements, Tom Lehrer
There's antimony, arsenic, aluminum, selenium,
And hydrogen and oxygen and nitrogen and rhenium,
And nickel, neodymium, neptunium, germanium,
And iron, americium, ruthenium, uranium



The elements were spinning in her brain, rushing back and forth and blending together. Ivy stared at the blank periodic table before her and cudgeled her brain frantically. She'd studied this, she had, she knew this, but she just couldn't get it...

A trill of piano music started up in her brain, and suddenly they all marched together, nice and neat.

The proctor nailed her for humming while she worked, but she passed the exam with flying colors.



The Best Day, Taylor Swift
I know you were on my side even when I was wrong
And I love you for giving me your eyes, staying back and watching me shine
And I didn't know if you knew, so I'm taking this chance to say
That I had the best day with you today



"Mom," Ivy said, and walked into the kitchen. "I've been looking for you."

Gail snorted, and didn't look up from her work. "For what?" she asked, expecting... well, from this child, it could be anything from an inconvenient explosion to homework help, or even 'where did I leave my...'

Ivy hesitated, then said, "Just to tell you that you're awesome, and I'm grateful you're my mom." She hugged Gail's shoulders, then skittered out of the room.

Gail stared after her, amazed.


Fuck You, Lily Allen
Fuck you (fuck you!), fuck you very very much
Cause your words don't translate
And it's getting quite late
So please don't stay in touch



Ivy really didn't think about her biohazard too much, at least not after Nathan adopted her. Before, she used to wonder why he'd left, why she hadn't been worth it, but then she got her real dad and he told her the truth, that she was lovely and wonderful, and her biohazard wasn't worth a second thought.

Now, sitting across from Bradley Spitzer as he strenuously denied the possibility that she might have a father besides him, she wondered why she ever even wasted a first thought on him.



Family, Dar Williams
Can you fix this? It's a broken heart.
It was fine, but it just fell apart.
It was mine, but now I give it to you,
Cause you can fix it, you know what to do.
Let your love cover me, like a pair of angel wings,
You are my family, you are my family.



"She said you're not my real dad," Ivy whispered, hearing Ellen's voice again, seeing the mocking sneer on her face. He only 'dopted you 'cause he felt sorry for you. It's true, it is, my mama says so! Everybody says so! "Is there something wrong with me, Daddy?"

"No, sweetheart," Nathan said firmly, and pulled her into his lap, rocking her against his chest. "There's nothing wrong with you." He said more, but she couldn’t hear with her ear pressed to his chest, against the thump of his heart.

Ivy closed her eyes, safe in her father's arms.



Whatever It Is, Ben Lee
And you're dancing and you're looking kinda crazy
And your arms are making little circles
There are reasons, there are reasons you can find out
So do it - whatever it is, whatever it is
Just do it - whatever it is, whatever it is



Ivy spun around in the yard, arms out, the music blasting from her radio and animating her feet. She ignored the stares-- who cared what random people on the street thought?-- and kept right on.

Aaron came out of the building and stared at her for a moment, and then she started to feel ashamed. It wasn't some random stranger, it was her brother, who always made the right judgment and knew what he was doing. She slowed, arms stuttering to a stop.

"No, I can wait," Aaron said, and smiled, warmly.

Ivy smiled back, and spun.



If My Sister's In Trouble, Lady Soul
If my sister's in trouble I will always help her out
If my sister's in trouble I will turn the world around
I will fight for her right
No matter where the trouble seems to lie
If my sister's in trouble so am I



The boy stood outside Summer's school, hands in his pockets and a smirk on his face. Ivy headed right for him.

"Hey," she said, tone friendly. "You're Jason Murdoch, right?"

The boy looked her over, apparently classified her as a nonthreatening adult, and said, warily, "Yeah?"

"I'm Ivy," she said. "Summer's sister?"

"Oh," he said. "The freak."

"Yeah, about that," Ivy said, and seized his shoulder, not quite hard enough to bruise. "Call her a freak again and you'll be dealing with me, got it?"

The boy blanched.

"I'm glad we had this talk." She released him.

He fled.



Two Apples, Mighty Kate
We're two apples from the same tree
Happy but lonely, thinking that maybe
We should stop and stay a while
And I think we both know
That if we take it nice and slow
I'm gonna love you for a long, long time.



Olivia's friend was beautiful, really beautiful, the kind of beautiful you only saw once in a lifetime, and Ivy had never wanted anything so much in her life. Thanks to Olivia she knew Gina was a lesbian, so she maybe had half a shot, if she took it slow and careful.

It wasn't just that she was beautiful, though that was a consideration. It was... there was something in her eyes, something...

Gina looked up just then and smiled at her across the table, and Ivy smiled back, helplessly.

Oh, yes.



Honey, Mariah Carey
One hit of your love addicted me
Now I'm strung out on you darling, don't you see
Every night and day
I can hardly wait
For another taste of honey



Ivy loved the way that Gina felt, muscles tense and back bowed, fingers curling in Ivy's hair, slick and hot and warm beneath her tongue.

"Yes, oh, yes, right there..."

She loved the little noises Gina made, the choking cries and sweet soft moans.

"That! That that that! Sweet Jesus."

The honeyed taste on her tongue, the orange-blossom scent Gina used sometimes, the heat and the friction of skin-on-skin...

"Just a little more, just--" Gina broke off in a high-pitched cry.

Ivy loved it.



Wilder Than Her, Dar Williams
She takes the fire and turns it down low
She takes the night and makes it not so cold
She takes the distance and breaks it into miles
She makes my life just a little less wild



There was something in the way Gina looked at her, gentle and warm, that made Ivy feel less reckless.

It wasn't the same thing that her parents had tried, the disappointed faces and the lectures. Gina just looked... pleased, when she controlled her impulses, pleased and proud, like Ivy had lived up to her expectations.

Ivy liked that look on her girlfriend's face.

It was worth a couple of missed opportunities.



City Hall, Vienna Teng
Oh, me and my baby driving down
To a hilly seaside town in the rainfall
Oh, me and my baby stand in line
You've never seen a sight so fine
As the love that's gonna shine
At city hall



The clerk said something but Ivy wasn't listening, so she was taken completely by surprise when Aaron elbowed her. "You're supposed to say I do," he hissed.

"Oh," she said, and then, "I do. Of course."

Gina's eyes were shining, blue as the sky and sheened with tears.

"I do," she replied.

The clerk said something else, but Ivy had stopped listening again.



Our Time Has Come, James Ingram and Carnie Wilson
Our time has come, we're gonna
Walk in the sun, oh
Packed my hopes, we're ready to roll
We're on our way



Her family is asleep, her children safe in bed, Gina emitting little ladylike snores on the couch. She'd just seen her parents and her brother and sister at dinner, spouses and children not invited, just the five of them. She'd felt like a kid again, talking about what had happened at work, bantering with Aaron, talking science with Summer.

Sometimes she missed being a kid, missed the safety and security.

Then she looked at Gina, her wife-- her wife!-- their children, her thriving practice, her happy, well-loved cat.

You could only go forward. And Ivy was fine with that.