The Acts of Ivy
Jan. 31st, 2012 02:20 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
intheheartTitle: The Acts of Ivy
Rating: PG-13, for cussing.
Summary: No one expected Ivy to actually take over the world.
Date: 2012
AU: Mad Scientist
Notes: I DON'T EVEN KNOW, YOU GUYS. Ivy's Views are not necessarily shared by the author.
ACTS OF IVY
I. Thou shalt play nicely with the other children. This meansthee thine thou YOU.
II. When the horn blows, it means I have another decree. Thou shalt assemble and listen. Unless thou art engaged in something more important, like sex, or lifting something heavy.
III. "Yo mamma" jokes aren't funny anymore. Thou shalt quit making them.
IIIa. Unless they are actually Lord Dunmore jokes, and/or you are my brother. Then we'll talk.
IV. What and who other people do (or don't do) in their private time is none of thine goddamn business, so long as everyone involved is a consenting adult. We all have better things/people to do. Go do them.
V. Speaking of private time, thou shalt freaking tell the goddamn truth to thine romantic partners. None of this shilly-shallying "well maybe if you do this for me I'll love you" nonsense. Grow up.
VI. "Girl" does not have a u in it. Nor can you pluralize anything by adding the letter "z," nor add coolness via the letter "x." Cut it out already. By order of Co-Overlord Gina.
VII. Persistent stupidity is punishable.
VIII. If you suspect you're being an asshole, you probably are. See Act I.
IX. Seriously, "yo mamma" jokes aren't funny.
X. Family is in the heart, not the blood. Treasure the ones you love, for they are your brothers and sisters, your mothers and fathers. From this day forth, you can choose your family. See that you do it wisely.
ANY INFACTIONS, AND I BLOW UP YOUR PRECIOUS MOON.
I MEAN IT.
I HAVE A LASER.
Rating: PG-13, for cussing.
Summary: No one expected Ivy to actually take over the world.
Date: 2012
AU: Mad Scientist
Notes: I DON'T EVEN KNOW, YOU GUYS. Ivy's Views are not necessarily shared by the author.
ACTS OF IVY
I. Thou shalt play nicely with the other children. This means
II. When the horn blows, it means I have another decree. Thou shalt assemble and listen. Unless thou art engaged in something more important, like sex, or lifting something heavy.
III. "Yo mamma" jokes aren't funny anymore. Thou shalt quit making them.
IIIa. Unless they are actually Lord Dunmore jokes, and/or you are my brother. Then we'll talk.
IV. What and who other people do (or don't do) in their private time is none of thine goddamn business, so long as everyone involved is a consenting adult. We all have better things/people to do. Go do them.
V. Speaking of private time, thou shalt freaking tell the goddamn truth to thine romantic partners. None of this shilly-shallying "well maybe if you do this for me I'll love you" nonsense. Grow up.
VI. "Girl" does not have a u in it. Nor can you pluralize anything by adding the letter "z," nor add coolness via the letter "x." Cut it out already. By order of Co-Overlord Gina.
VII. Persistent stupidity is punishable.
VIII. If you suspect you're being an asshole, you probably are. See Act I.
IX. Seriously, "yo mamma" jokes aren't funny.
X. Family is in the heart, not the blood. Treasure the ones you love, for they are your brothers and sisters, your mothers and fathers. From this day forth, you can choose your family. See that you do it wisely.
ANY INFACTIONS, AND I BLOW UP YOUR PRECIOUS MOON.
I MEAN IT.
I HAVE A LASER.
