somewhere far away
Jan. 24th, 2012 02:38 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
intheheartTitle: somewhere far away
Rating: PG-13
Summary: The things we believe are not always true.
AU: Straight
Notes: none
WARNING for implications of suicide and domestic abuse.
Ned dumped her for a cheerleader, three weeks before senior prom. She cried her eyes out, watched soppy movies, was coddled by friends and family. She wondered if it was worth the bother finding another date, and eventually went with her friend Maeve's brother.
Watching Ned dance with his new girlfriend hurt so much she left early, and cried in her mother's arms.
"Don't worry, dear," her mother said, stroking her hair. "You'll find someone better."
She believed it wholeheartedly. She had to.
(somewhere far away, a girl named ivy comes out to her parents. gina will never meet her)
--
She was accepted to Rochester and Smith, and chose Rochester, because it was closer to home, close enough that some weekends she could go home for church. She loved that old church, with its stained-glass window and elderly pews-- there was nothing quite like it in Rochester.
She missed her friends, and her room, and the boys she grew up with. She didn't miss Ned, she swore. By sophomore year, she even believed it; in sophomore year, she met Grant.
(somewhere far away, a girl named olivia is lying in bed, an empty pill bottle on the floor. she is smiling)
--
They got married the summer after they graduated. Grant took her up on a mountaintop to propose, the ring flashing in the sunset. She had never been so much in love.
He went to law school in the fall. She followed him, got a job, paid the bills. She was so proud of him, even though she never saw him. He would have time for her, he promised, when he graduated.
She believed that lie. Both of them.
(somewhere far away, a girl named vanessa leans on a bar. gina won't meet her either, but this is for the best)
--
She got pregnant right after Grant dropped out. He said it was before, he said that's why he left school, but she knew differently.
But it was all for the best. It must be. God had a plan, and she needed to trust Him. It wasn't until the first time she felt her son kick that she believed that.
John Robert McKean, they named him, for Grant's father and hers. She called him Robbie. Grant called him Johnny-boy.
That should, in retrospect, have been a clue.
(somewhere far away, a boy named jake collapses. nobody's there to pick him up)
--
She got pregnant again when Robbie was two. A daughter this time, Leah Susanna McKean. She named Leah by herself. Grant didn't seem interested.
Their third child was born when Leah was three. Another girl, Elizabeth Anne. Grant started to get snappish. She put it down to stress-- he was trying to get a promotion. They needed the money.
Catherine Marie was born two years after that, and right about then it all started to rip at the seams.
(somewhere far away, a boy named aaron tries to steer his sister safely away from dangerous girls. he doesn't always succeed)
--
She put up with it, when it was just her. Grant never hurt her physically, and the things he said... well, he didn't mean them, and surely he didn't know how much it hurt.
And he was under so much stress, providing for her and the children. With so many, so close, she had to stay at home, and Grant wouldn't have liked her working anyway. That was all right; she loved her children, she loved being a mother.
Grant was a good man. Wasn't he?
(somewhere far away, a girl named ivy is falling in love. it won't last)
--
But then the girls started to avoid their father, and Robbie got angry, started to lash out. But then Grant started to leave red marks when he grabbed her, and bruises when he took her. She tried to ignore it, tried to make excuses, tried to love him enough to make up for the love he clearly didn't feel any more.
There were limits, though, to what she could excuse.
The day she found a bruise on Robbie's upper arm, she left, and didn't look back.
(somewhere far away, a girl named summer tries romance. she isn't doing very well)
--
Her parents helped; got her a job, watched the children while she worked, didn't even murmur a protest when she got a divorce. She left Syracuse, and Grant, far behind, took her children to the city where there was work.
She held on, made it work. Even through the custody fight, bitter and hard-fought, even when she felt watched, and stalked, even when she was sure the divorce wouldn't go through, she held on, because it would work out. And it did.
God has a plan.
(somewhere far away, a girl named ivy is getting married. that won't last either)
--
Robbie misses their big backyard, but not his father. Leah loves her new school, and babbles about it endlessly. Beth plays dressup with every item in her mother's closet, and draws lipstick smiley faces on the mirror. Caty takes her first steps.
(one day she passes a redheaded woman on the streets, feels a jolt of recognition)
She's happy, now. She's safe and independent. She's even starting to take an interest in men again.
(but she's never seen her before)
This could work, she thinks, standing on a street corner. This could really work.
(after a moment, she walks on)
Rating: PG-13
Summary: The things we believe are not always true.
AU: Straight
Notes: none
WARNING for implications of suicide and domestic abuse.
Ned dumped her for a cheerleader, three weeks before senior prom. She cried her eyes out, watched soppy movies, was coddled by friends and family. She wondered if it was worth the bother finding another date, and eventually went with her friend Maeve's brother.
Watching Ned dance with his new girlfriend hurt so much she left early, and cried in her mother's arms.
"Don't worry, dear," her mother said, stroking her hair. "You'll find someone better."
She believed it wholeheartedly. She had to.
(somewhere far away, a girl named ivy comes out to her parents. gina will never meet her)
--
She was accepted to Rochester and Smith, and chose Rochester, because it was closer to home, close enough that some weekends she could go home for church. She loved that old church, with its stained-glass window and elderly pews-- there was nothing quite like it in Rochester.
She missed her friends, and her room, and the boys she grew up with. She didn't miss Ned, she swore. By sophomore year, she even believed it; in sophomore year, she met Grant.
(somewhere far away, a girl named olivia is lying in bed, an empty pill bottle on the floor. she is smiling)
--
They got married the summer after they graduated. Grant took her up on a mountaintop to propose, the ring flashing in the sunset. She had never been so much in love.
He went to law school in the fall. She followed him, got a job, paid the bills. She was so proud of him, even though she never saw him. He would have time for her, he promised, when he graduated.
She believed that lie. Both of them.
(somewhere far away, a girl named vanessa leans on a bar. gina won't meet her either, but this is for the best)
--
She got pregnant right after Grant dropped out. He said it was before, he said that's why he left school, but she knew differently.
But it was all for the best. It must be. God had a plan, and she needed to trust Him. It wasn't until the first time she felt her son kick that she believed that.
John Robert McKean, they named him, for Grant's father and hers. She called him Robbie. Grant called him Johnny-boy.
That should, in retrospect, have been a clue.
(somewhere far away, a boy named jake collapses. nobody's there to pick him up)
--
She got pregnant again when Robbie was two. A daughter this time, Leah Susanna McKean. She named Leah by herself. Grant didn't seem interested.
Their third child was born when Leah was three. Another girl, Elizabeth Anne. Grant started to get snappish. She put it down to stress-- he was trying to get a promotion. They needed the money.
Catherine Marie was born two years after that, and right about then it all started to rip at the seams.
(somewhere far away, a boy named aaron tries to steer his sister safely away from dangerous girls. he doesn't always succeed)
--
She put up with it, when it was just her. Grant never hurt her physically, and the things he said... well, he didn't mean them, and surely he didn't know how much it hurt.
And he was under so much stress, providing for her and the children. With so many, so close, she had to stay at home, and Grant wouldn't have liked her working anyway. That was all right; she loved her children, she loved being a mother.
Grant was a good man. Wasn't he?
(somewhere far away, a girl named ivy is falling in love. it won't last)
--
But then the girls started to avoid their father, and Robbie got angry, started to lash out. But then Grant started to leave red marks when he grabbed her, and bruises when he took her. She tried to ignore it, tried to make excuses, tried to love him enough to make up for the love he clearly didn't feel any more.
There were limits, though, to what she could excuse.
The day she found a bruise on Robbie's upper arm, she left, and didn't look back.
(somewhere far away, a girl named summer tries romance. she isn't doing very well)
--
Her parents helped; got her a job, watched the children while she worked, didn't even murmur a protest when she got a divorce. She left Syracuse, and Grant, far behind, took her children to the city where there was work.
She held on, made it work. Even through the custody fight, bitter and hard-fought, even when she felt watched, and stalked, even when she was sure the divorce wouldn't go through, she held on, because it would work out. And it did.
God has a plan.
(somewhere far away, a girl named ivy is getting married. that won't last either)
--
Robbie misses their big backyard, but not his father. Leah loves her new school, and babbles about it endlessly. Beth plays dressup with every item in her mother's closet, and draws lipstick smiley faces on the mirror. Caty takes her first steps.
(one day she passes a redheaded woman on the streets, feels a jolt of recognition)
She's happy, now. She's safe and independent. She's even starting to take an interest in men again.
(but she's never seen her before)
This could work, she thinks, standing on a street corner. This could really work.
(after a moment, she walks on)
