intheheart (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
intheheart) wrote2012-06-25 04:50 am
intheheart) wrote2012-06-25 04:50 am
Sail On, Sailor
Title: Sail On, Sailor
Rating: PG-13.
Summary: Nathan Kendall in ten songs.
Notes: For Sara, who requested it. Now taking requests for the next mix.
Sea Fever, Kris Delmhorst and John Masefield
I must go down, I must go down, for the call of the running tide
Is a wild call and a clear call that can't be denied;
And all I ask is a windy day with the white clouds flying,
And the flung spray and the blown spume, and the sea-gulls crying.
All his life, the sea called to him.
He grew up near enough to the ocean that every Saturday when he was small his dad would take him out to the water, and they'd dig their toes in the sand and listen to the crashing of the water on the shore. When he was older his dad would rent a small boat and they'd go sailing, the two of them, father and son between the sea and sky with the white sail bellied out with wind and the sea breeze cool on their faces.
The Navy wasn't even a choice.
I'll Be There For You, The Rembrandts
I'll be there for you
(When the rain starts to pour)
I'll be there for you
(Like I've been there before)
I'll be there for you
('Cause you're there for me too)
He never quite realized what it took for his mama to support him until she got sick.
He was going to school nearby, and she insisted he continue to attend classes, no matter how sick she got, or how bad she felt. He'd run to class and study hard, because she wanted it, then run home, maybe with a stop at a drugstore and get her some chocolate to help her feel better, and take care of her until she felt better or fell asleep.
She wasn't sick for long, at least. And he never stopped taking care of her.
Sail On, Sailor, The Beach Boys
Always needing, even bleeding
Never feeding all my feelings
Damn the thunder, must I blunder
There's no wonder all I'm under
The years after the divorce were the worst of his life.
First, he lost Melanie, and the distance in her eyes cut worse than anything. Then he left the Navy, a loss of a different kind. Then he left Connecticut, his hometown, the ocean, all to support his son.
It stung at first, working in an office all day, never seeing the sun. Then he began to appreciate the drawings emerging under his pencil, the houses and buildings he created. Aaron grew happy and healthy. Melanie moved to New York and brought a reconciliation with her.
Things were looking up.
Falling for the First Time, Barenaked Ladies
Anyone perfect must be lying, anything easy has its cost
Anyone plain can be lovely, anyone loved can be lost
What if I lost my direction? What if I lost sense of time?
What if I nursed this infection? Maybe the worst is behind
He was skeptical about Gail, at first.
Not that she caused uncertainty in and of herself. She was a wonderful woman, brave and strong, and utterly competent. It was... relationships, after losing Melanie, no longer seemed quite the same.
But Gail went on being her brave, strong self, and her daughter caught his heart in both her sticky hands the moment he met her. Aaron fitted into their family like a droplet flowing into the ocean.
It wasn't easy. It was never going to be easy. Children and marriage weren't meant to be easy.
It was, very definitely, worth it.
The Girl Who Fell From the Sky, Joe Hisashi
[instrumental]
He married Gail, and adopted her daughter. They had another daughter. His career climbed smoothly. Their children grew up and moved out, one by one; one by one, they found husbands and wives, settled down, had children. His grandchildren were, each one, a joy and a wonder, small happy presences accompanied by their always-welcome parents. He'd been friends with Melanie to the day of her death, a feat that still astonished him.
And Gail. He still loved Gail. He'd always love Gail.
Life had been good, he thought, in his armchair in the sun. He couldn't ask for a better.
Sweetest Thing, U2
I'm losing you
I'm losing you yeah
Ain't love the sweetest thing
Melanie was slipping away, and he didn't know how to stop it.
He wasn't even really sure when it had started. When Aaron took his first steps, and he wasn't there? When Aaron was born? Earlier, when he joined the Navy? When they married? When he proposed?
He tried to fix it. He called more often. He got leave as often as he could. It wasn't working, though, and every time he saw her, there was a little more distance in her eyes.
Something was ending, and he had no idea how to fix it-- or even if he should.
With Arms Wide Open, Creed
With arms wide open
Under the sunlight
Welcome to this place
I'll show you everything
With arms wide open
He broke land-speed records getting to the hospital, pounded up the hallways to the maternity ward, and arrived at the nurse's center breathless. To their credit, they didn't laugh at him, just took him to Melanie's room, where she was sitting up in bed, nursing their son.
Their son.
He was so tiny, with flecks of fingernails, hair and eyelashes like wisps of cloud. He looked amazed by everything, by Melanie and Nathan and the ceiling fan and his own tiny hands.
"Look, Aaron," Melanie said, jogging him a little. "This is your daddy."
Daddy. God. He had a son.
Lucky, Jason Mraz
I'm lucky I'm in love with my best friend
Lucky to have been where I have been
Lucky to be coming home again
Lucky we're in love every way
Lucky to have stayed where we have stayed
Lucky to be coming home someday
Gail was his best friend.
She was so much more than that, of course. Lover, wife, partner, even adversary sometimes, but above all that, she was his best friend, the person he could say anything and everything to without fear of being judged. She might laugh at him, or be troubled, but she took him as he was, every fault and virtue as she found it.
Still, somehow, she made him want to be a better person, someone who could impress her, cuddle her, make her laugh.
He still had some trouble believing he'd been lucky enough to attract her.
My Little Girl, Tim McGraw
Go on, take on this whole world
But to me you know you'll always be
My little girl
His daughters were perfect.
He wasn't just saying that because he was their father and he loved them. He genuinely believed they were perfect. Oh, sure, Ivy didn't always think before she acted, and he'd had to pull her butt out of the fire more times than he could count. And Summer didn't understand things sometimes, needed explanations that a neurotypical child would not. But that just made them more perfect, somehow, beautiful and strong and competent like their mother.
He liked Gina and Summer's boys, he really did.
But secretly, he didn't think anyone was worthy of his daughters.
The Light and the Sea, Dar Williams
And it all comes down, down to me
To feel the presence of my soul
Amidst the torrents and the cold of the sea
And there will always be
The light and the sea,
The roiling sea, the light and me
He rode through life like the ocean, rising and falling with the swells, taking what came as it did.
It was a dark and frightening and cruel world sometimes. He'd lost people-- his father when he was eleven, his mother at nineteen, Melanie to divorce. He'd found people-- Gail, Davy, Melanie when they'd managed to be friends again. He'd created people-- Aaron and Summer and he'd gladly take responsibility for Ivy even though she wasn't biologically his.
He'd had dark times, and light times, sorrow and joy twining together like a spliced rope.
He wouldn't trade his life for anything.
Rating: PG-13.
Summary: Nathan Kendall in ten songs.
Notes: For Sara, who requested it. Now taking requests for the next mix.
I must go down, I must go down, for the call of the running tide
Is a wild call and a clear call that can't be denied;
And all I ask is a windy day with the white clouds flying,
And the flung spray and the blown spume, and the sea-gulls crying.
All his life, the sea called to him.
He grew up near enough to the ocean that every Saturday when he was small his dad would take him out to the water, and they'd dig their toes in the sand and listen to the crashing of the water on the shore. When he was older his dad would rent a small boat and they'd go sailing, the two of them, father and son between the sea and sky with the white sail bellied out with wind and the sea breeze cool on their faces.
The Navy wasn't even a choice.
I'll be there for you
(When the rain starts to pour)
I'll be there for you
(Like I've been there before)
I'll be there for you
('Cause you're there for me too)
He never quite realized what it took for his mama to support him until she got sick.
He was going to school nearby, and she insisted he continue to attend classes, no matter how sick she got, or how bad she felt. He'd run to class and study hard, because she wanted it, then run home, maybe with a stop at a drugstore and get her some chocolate to help her feel better, and take care of her until she felt better or fell asleep.
She wasn't sick for long, at least. And he never stopped taking care of her.
Always needing, even bleeding
Never feeding all my feelings
Damn the thunder, must I blunder
There's no wonder all I'm under
The years after the divorce were the worst of his life.
First, he lost Melanie, and the distance in her eyes cut worse than anything. Then he left the Navy, a loss of a different kind. Then he left Connecticut, his hometown, the ocean, all to support his son.
It stung at first, working in an office all day, never seeing the sun. Then he began to appreciate the drawings emerging under his pencil, the houses and buildings he created. Aaron grew happy and healthy. Melanie moved to New York and brought a reconciliation with her.
Things were looking up.
Anyone perfect must be lying, anything easy has its cost
Anyone plain can be lovely, anyone loved can be lost
What if I lost my direction? What if I lost sense of time?
What if I nursed this infection? Maybe the worst is behind
He was skeptical about Gail, at first.
Not that she caused uncertainty in and of herself. She was a wonderful woman, brave and strong, and utterly competent. It was... relationships, after losing Melanie, no longer seemed quite the same.
But Gail went on being her brave, strong self, and her daughter caught his heart in both her sticky hands the moment he met her. Aaron fitted into their family like a droplet flowing into the ocean.
It wasn't easy. It was never going to be easy. Children and marriage weren't meant to be easy.
It was, very definitely, worth it.
[instrumental]
He married Gail, and adopted her daughter. They had another daughter. His career climbed smoothly. Their children grew up and moved out, one by one; one by one, they found husbands and wives, settled down, had children. His grandchildren were, each one, a joy and a wonder, small happy presences accompanied by their always-welcome parents. He'd been friends with Melanie to the day of her death, a feat that still astonished him.
And Gail. He still loved Gail. He'd always love Gail.
Life had been good, he thought, in his armchair in the sun. He couldn't ask for a better.
I'm losing you
I'm losing you yeah
Ain't love the sweetest thing
Melanie was slipping away, and he didn't know how to stop it.
He wasn't even really sure when it had started. When Aaron took his first steps, and he wasn't there? When Aaron was born? Earlier, when he joined the Navy? When they married? When he proposed?
He tried to fix it. He called more often. He got leave as often as he could. It wasn't working, though, and every time he saw her, there was a little more distance in her eyes.
Something was ending, and he had no idea how to fix it-- or even if he should.
With arms wide open
Under the sunlight
Welcome to this place
I'll show you everything
With arms wide open
He broke land-speed records getting to the hospital, pounded up the hallways to the maternity ward, and arrived at the nurse's center breathless. To their credit, they didn't laugh at him, just took him to Melanie's room, where she was sitting up in bed, nursing their son.
Their son.
He was so tiny, with flecks of fingernails, hair and eyelashes like wisps of cloud. He looked amazed by everything, by Melanie and Nathan and the ceiling fan and his own tiny hands.
"Look, Aaron," Melanie said, jogging him a little. "This is your daddy."
Daddy. God. He had a son.
I'm lucky I'm in love with my best friend
Lucky to have been where I have been
Lucky to be coming home again
Lucky we're in love every way
Lucky to have stayed where we have stayed
Lucky to be coming home someday
Gail was his best friend.
She was so much more than that, of course. Lover, wife, partner, even adversary sometimes, but above all that, she was his best friend, the person he could say anything and everything to without fear of being judged. She might laugh at him, or be troubled, but she took him as he was, every fault and virtue as she found it.
Still, somehow, she made him want to be a better person, someone who could impress her, cuddle her, make her laugh.
He still had some trouble believing he'd been lucky enough to attract her.
Go on, take on this whole world
But to me you know you'll always be
My little girl
His daughters were perfect.
He wasn't just saying that because he was their father and he loved them. He genuinely believed they were perfect. Oh, sure, Ivy didn't always think before she acted, and he'd had to pull her butt out of the fire more times than he could count. And Summer didn't understand things sometimes, needed explanations that a neurotypical child would not. But that just made them more perfect, somehow, beautiful and strong and competent like their mother.
He liked Gina and Summer's boys, he really did.
But secretly, he didn't think anyone was worthy of his daughters.
And it all comes down, down to me
To feel the presence of my soul
Amidst the torrents and the cold of the sea
And there will always be
The light and the sea,
The roiling sea, the light and me
He rode through life like the ocean, rising and falling with the swells, taking what came as it did.
It was a dark and frightening and cruel world sometimes. He'd lost people-- his father when he was eleven, his mother at nineteen, Melanie to divorce. He'd found people-- Gail, Davy, Melanie when they'd managed to be friends again. He'd created people-- Aaron and Summer and he'd gladly take responsibility for Ivy even though she wasn't biologically his.
He'd had dark times, and light times, sorrow and joy twining together like a spliced rope.
He wouldn't trade his life for anything.