Wayward Son
Feb. 7th, 2012 12:12 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
intheheartTitle: Wayward Son
Rating: PG-13.
Summary: Lars Warmind in twenty songs or less.
Notes: FINALLY. All eight characters have their introductory mix. I feel like this one is a bit scattered-- concrit welcome. References Fracture and Splint. Lars played by a Norweigan politican by the name of Henrik Asheim-- Lars himself is actually Danish by descent. FYI.
Warnings: Alcohol abuse.
White and Nerdy, Weird Al
Think I'm just too white n' nerdy
Think I'm just too white n' nerdy
Can't you see I'm white n' nerdy
Look at me I'm white n' nerdy!
Lars had always been unusually-- interested, in things. Shows, books, computers, comic books, he devoured them. Not like there was much else to do in the boondocks of New York where he grew up, but even so, he got the sense that people didn't get so into things as he did.
Not that he cared. His family didn't care, and it sure didn't hurt his GPA, and really, what else could a guy ask for?
Phantoms of Summer, Seanan McGuire
See the phantoms of summer dance and flicker in the night,
Little fires that start to fade the moment they ignite.
Make a wish on a firefly star -- they burn so brief, they burn so bright,
Like the phantoms of summer dancing lonely in the night.
He knew exactly when he'd grown up.
He remembered it very distinctly. He was eight years old and he wanted to talk to Mama, but Chrissy told him no, she was tired. He'd pretended to agree, but because Chrissy was only his sister, he waited until she turned her back and went into Mama's room anyway.
She lay very still on her side, white and thin, and as he stood there, she started to cough, endless racking coughs that made her shake.
He understood what cancer was, then. And he never really was a child again.
Make Your Own Kind of Music, Mama Cass Elliot
You gotta make your own kind of music
Sing your own special song
Make your own kind music
Even if nobody else sings along
Being smack in the middle of seven siblings wasn't good for his self-esteem, but it did teach Lars one thing: you could never be exactly like anyone else. He could be similar-- like Anna, he was bookish, like Theo, he could be whiny, like the twins, he was reckless-- but he was never the same-- Anna was too sarcastic, Theo too wordy, the twins occasionally actively trying to get themselves or others injured.
Growing up in the middle of seven siblings, he couldn't understand why anyone would want to be like anyone else.
God, would that be boring.
Carry On, Wayward Son, Kansas
Masquerading as a man with a reason
My charade is the event of the season
And if I claim to be a wise man,
It surely means that I don't know
He wasn't very good at the grownup thing.
Well, why should he be? College was where you learned to grow up, wasn't it? And if Aaron was so much steadier and mature than he was, well, he'd take Aaron along when he went partying. Aaron would have a good time and he wouldn't get into trouble, and it would all work out.
Except it never really did, somehow, and Aaron always seemed to have such a better handle on things than he did.
Whatever.
He'd figure it out someday.
The Girl All The Bad Guys Want, Bowling For Soup
It's like a bad movie
She's lookin' through me
If you were me, then you'd be
Screamin' "Someone shoot me!"
As I fail miserably, tryin' to get the girl all the bad guys want.
Samantha set the pattern.
She went by Sam, cut her hair punky-short and dyed it every other week, wore tank tops and ragged jean shorts, pierced anything she could pierce. She listened to hard rock very loud, flipped off the teachers and administrators, got drunk, smoked weed and did harder drugs, and was generally an all-around troublemaker.
Lars thought she was perfect, and she never knew he existed.
He got over her after about a year of hopeless crushing. But he never stopped liking the bad girls.
Blue Lips, Regina Spektor
He took a step but then felt tired
He said I'll rest a little while
But when he tried to walk again
He wasn't a child
And all the people hurried fast, real fast
And no one ever smiled
His mother died five months before his twenty-first birthday. He didn't even know she was sick until the month before she died.
For days afterwards, he couldn't feel anything, could barely even walk without stumbling. He was pretty sure that everyone except Aaron thought he was drunk. Aaron just kept an eye on him, steered him slow and careful around the obstacles, made sure he could keep it together.
Aaron was strong. Stronger than him.
He didn't even know if he could do it anymore.
Easier to Lie, Aqualung
To bear the weight and push into the sky
it's easier to lie, it's easier to lie
And honestly to look you in the eye
it's easier to lie, it's easier to lie
He kept his emotions inside, after that.
Emotions hadn't done him any good, after all. When he'd let himself let it out, what had happened? He'd punched a hole in a glass window and his left hand had been unusable for a week, not to mention Chrissy had worried over him for ages. No, it was better to just keep them inside and hope they all went away.
They never really did, but hope sprang eternal.
Hurricane Drunk, Florence and the Machine
Nothing to keep me from the storm,
And you can't hold me down,
'Cause I belong to the hurricane,
It's gonna blow us all away.
Getting drunk helped, sometimes, as long as he didn't get too drunk before he got home. Once he was alone he could swear and scream and punch pillows all he wanted, but if he was with people and he got that drunk... he hurt people. Not physically. But he hurt them, and badly.
He nearly lost friends a couple of times. But it wasn't until he... until Summer, that he quit drinking entirely.
He'd made her cry once. He was never going to do it again.
Getting Better, The Beatles
I've got to admit it's getting better (Better)
A little better all the time (It can't get more worse)
I have to admit it's getting better (Better)
It's getting better since you've been mine
He didn't know what it was about Danny, but something about her made him a better person.
Maybe it was the way she was totally unafraid to call him on his bullshit, or encourage him when he was doing something right. Maybe it was the way she managed to drink and still keep control of herself, or the way she expressed her anger without hurting anyone-- or anyone who didn't deserve it, anyway.
He did what she did, and what Aaron did, and every day, he got a little better.
When We Die, Bowling for Soup
And I know that we're gonna be fine
And the tattooed mistakes
Are gonna fade over time
As long as we live, time passes by
And we won't get it back when we die
Everybody died sometime. Lars knew that, the more intimately since his mother died. Everybody had to die.
But that didn't mean you couldn't live, in the meantime. And living meant fucking up-- he knew that too, God knew he did it enough. Living also meant forgiving fuckups, and accepting apologies, and bandaging wounds and smoothing over rifts. He got really good at it. Maybe too good.
Whatever, like it mattered. He had his friends, he had his family, he had Summer, he had Danny, and he was alive.
Nothing else mattered.
It's Cool To Love Your Family, Feist
It's cool it's cool to love your family
It's cool it's cool to love your family
It's cool it's cool to love your family
I know because I love them more and more
Some days Lars really hated his family.
Not that they were a bad family, far from it! They were just so... so familial. Chrissy tried to manage everyone and Theo tried to get his own way and Anna escaped in books and Mort kept breaking into snatches of song and the twins kept doing impossibly dangerous things and his parents would just laugh and be benevolent and he wanted to shake them all.
Which, in a twisted way, was why he loved them, really.
Families.
You'll Be In My Heart, Phil Collins
For one so small, you seem so strong
My arms will hold you, keep you safe and warm
This bond between us can't be broken
I will be here, don't you cry
Summer was so little when he met her, not even five, and still months away from her diagnosis. Her family loved her, but thought she was strange. The world rejected her, didn't even look at her twice. And he...
Well, he loved her.
Not in a sick way, just as the sweet little sister he'd never had (Elisa was many things, but not sweet). Everyone except Summer's family thought that this was strange. Her family just rolled with it.
And Summer loved him right back.
He never really knew why, but he was grateful for it all the same.
Friends o' Mine, Bowling for Soup
We saw the world and the world seemed smaller
Were getting wider but not getting no taller
I know we’ve grown up just a little at a time
...I’m so glad that I have these friends o mine
Lars wasn't quite sure what it was with him and semi-abusive friends, but he knew he was some kind of magnet. Danny, Esther, Russell, Penny, that guy from college, pretty much all his friends from high school-- it probably had something to do with his thing for bad girls. Aaron and Jay were about the only ones who treated him well.
Still, his friends might trash him, but they were not about to let anyone else do it. They might call him names, but they had his back where it counted.
He had the best friends in the world.
Now, Jonathan Groff
I don't know why this happened.
My life is dark as hell without you;
The room feels so much colder
Since you went away.
He didn't know what to do without Madison.
She was the first really good girlfriend he'd had. Carla alternately ignored and clung to him, Pam did nothing but criticize him, his bad-girl girlfriends dragged him on adventures he really didn't want. But Madison had been sweet, gentle, kind. He'd really loved her, and then she just.
She just.
He didn’t know what to do without her.
So he got drunk.
Two-Seater, Bowling For Soup
I hope you like your two-seater, no radio
Keymarks parallel to the pinstripes
Windows broken your, t-tops stolen
Now it's one of a kind- thanks for the ride
After he groveled, after Summer forgave him wholeheartedly and Ivy and Aaron did it more tentatively, Danny came to visit him.
"You done fucked up, son," she told him.
"I know," he said, quietly. "I... I tried to fix it."
She nodded. "Points for knowing," she said. "You know Madison wasn't worth it, right?"
He didn't, really, but he suspected he would soon. "Yeah," he said, anyway.
"Great," Danny said. "Let's go blow up her car."
They didn't actually blow it up. But they did key it something vicious. And damn if it didn't feel good.
Hot Mess, Cobra Starship
Well, you're a hot mess and I'm falling for you
And I'm like hot damn! let me make you my boo
Cause you can shake it shake it shake it, yeah you know what to do
You're a hot mess, I'm loving it-hell yes!
Danny was so completely not perfect that it was a little hilarious to imagine her that way. She was fucked up, from a fucked up family, angry all the time and prone to starting fights.
Except she really was kind of perfect, when he thought about it. She was gorgeous, for starters, with her short punky haircut and great ass. She was totally unafraid of the world, dared it to take her on. She never backed down.
He was still kind of amazed that she wanted to date him.
The Bitch Song, Bowling for Soup
You’re a bitch but I love you anyway
You can’t sing but you still put me to sleep
You’re a bitch, hey hey hey hey
You make me sick but don’t ever go away
They fought all the time. And not the sissy once or twice a week all the time, all the time. Danny would yell at him for leaving the toilet seat up or he'd yell at her for forgetting to get toothpaste and they'd have a brisk little screaming match that usually ended up in makeouts. Which Lars couldn't really object to.
Anyway, they made it work.
Smoothie King, Bowling for Soup
Love songs suck and fairy tales aren’t true
And happy ending Hollywood is not for me and you
So add it up and break it down
It’s not that hard to figure out
You're crazy and I’m crazy about you
Okay, so Aaron and Clara had this constant lovey-dovey billing and cooing going on. Jake and Olivia could nauseate you, especially after they got back together. Ivy and Gina had been together forever and didn't usually indulge in PDA, but when they did... oh, Lord, it didn't bear thinking about.
Lars and Danny didn't do that. They'd make out in public, sure, but there was nothing affectionate about it. Not much affection in their relationship, actually.
But there sure as fuck was love. And that was all they needed.
A Beautiful Mess, Jason Mraz
Well it kind of hurts when the kind of words you write
Kind of turn themselves into knives
And don't mind my nerve you could call it fiction
But I like being submerged in your contradictions, dear
Danny didn't want kids, but that was fine; neither did he. He had plenty of nieces and nephews, related and not, to borrow, and those he could give back. It worked out.
Danny didn't want to get married, and he was a little less fine with that. He couldn't help feeling as if she'd pack up and leave, but he knew if they did marry, she'd leave that much sooner. He could forgive it.
Danny did love him. If she hurt him sometimes, everybody fucked up, and he knew he hurt her sometimes without ever meaning to.
Danny loved him. He was okay with that.
Rock What You Got, Superchick
Rock what you got, rock what you got
Don't ever let them make you stop
Rock what you got, light up the lot
No one can rock the way you rock
It came down to this: everything worked.
It wasn't always perfect. Hell, he didn't think perfect existed. But what he had worked for him, for Danny, for his friends, for Summer. Who he was worked for them. Who they were worked for him.
They were an odd and combative little family. But they were a family.
He wouldn't give it up for the world.
Rating: PG-13.
Summary: Lars Warmind in twenty songs or less.
Notes: FINALLY. All eight characters have their introductory mix. I feel like this one is a bit scattered-- concrit welcome. References Fracture and Splint. Lars played by a Norweigan politican by the name of Henrik Asheim-- Lars himself is actually Danish by descent. FYI.
Warnings: Alcohol abuse.
Think I'm just too white n' nerdy
Think I'm just too white n' nerdy
Can't you see I'm white n' nerdy
Look at me I'm white n' nerdy!
Lars had always been unusually-- interested, in things. Shows, books, computers, comic books, he devoured them. Not like there was much else to do in the boondocks of New York where he grew up, but even so, he got the sense that people didn't get so into things as he did.
Not that he cared. His family didn't care, and it sure didn't hurt his GPA, and really, what else could a guy ask for?
See the phantoms of summer dance and flicker in the night,
Little fires that start to fade the moment they ignite.
Make a wish on a firefly star -- they burn so brief, they burn so bright,
Like the phantoms of summer dancing lonely in the night.
He knew exactly when he'd grown up.
He remembered it very distinctly. He was eight years old and he wanted to talk to Mama, but Chrissy told him no, she was tired. He'd pretended to agree, but because Chrissy was only his sister, he waited until she turned her back and went into Mama's room anyway.
She lay very still on her side, white and thin, and as he stood there, she started to cough, endless racking coughs that made her shake.
He understood what cancer was, then. And he never really was a child again.
You gotta make your own kind of music
Sing your own special song
Make your own kind music
Even if nobody else sings along
Being smack in the middle of seven siblings wasn't good for his self-esteem, but it did teach Lars one thing: you could never be exactly like anyone else. He could be similar-- like Anna, he was bookish, like Theo, he could be whiny, like the twins, he was reckless-- but he was never the same-- Anna was too sarcastic, Theo too wordy, the twins occasionally actively trying to get themselves or others injured.
Growing up in the middle of seven siblings, he couldn't understand why anyone would want to be like anyone else.
God, would that be boring.
Masquerading as a man with a reason
My charade is the event of the season
And if I claim to be a wise man,
It surely means that I don't know
He wasn't very good at the grownup thing.
Well, why should he be? College was where you learned to grow up, wasn't it? And if Aaron was so much steadier and mature than he was, well, he'd take Aaron along when he went partying. Aaron would have a good time and he wouldn't get into trouble, and it would all work out.
Except it never really did, somehow, and Aaron always seemed to have such a better handle on things than he did.
Whatever.
He'd figure it out someday.
It's like a bad movie
She's lookin' through me
If you were me, then you'd be
Screamin' "Someone shoot me!"
As I fail miserably, tryin' to get the girl all the bad guys want.
Samantha set the pattern.
She went by Sam, cut her hair punky-short and dyed it every other week, wore tank tops and ragged jean shorts, pierced anything she could pierce. She listened to hard rock very loud, flipped off the teachers and administrators, got drunk, smoked weed and did harder drugs, and was generally an all-around troublemaker.
Lars thought she was perfect, and she never knew he existed.
He got over her after about a year of hopeless crushing. But he never stopped liking the bad girls.
He took a step but then felt tired
He said I'll rest a little while
But when he tried to walk again
He wasn't a child
And all the people hurried fast, real fast
And no one ever smiled
His mother died five months before his twenty-first birthday. He didn't even know she was sick until the month before she died.
For days afterwards, he couldn't feel anything, could barely even walk without stumbling. He was pretty sure that everyone except Aaron thought he was drunk. Aaron just kept an eye on him, steered him slow and careful around the obstacles, made sure he could keep it together.
Aaron was strong. Stronger than him.
He didn't even know if he could do it anymore.
To bear the weight and push into the sky
it's easier to lie, it's easier to lie
And honestly to look you in the eye
it's easier to lie, it's easier to lie
He kept his emotions inside, after that.
Emotions hadn't done him any good, after all. When he'd let himself let it out, what had happened? He'd punched a hole in a glass window and his left hand had been unusable for a week, not to mention Chrissy had worried over him for ages. No, it was better to just keep them inside and hope they all went away.
They never really did, but hope sprang eternal.
Nothing to keep me from the storm,
And you can't hold me down,
'Cause I belong to the hurricane,
It's gonna blow us all away.
Getting drunk helped, sometimes, as long as he didn't get too drunk before he got home. Once he was alone he could swear and scream and punch pillows all he wanted, but if he was with people and he got that drunk... he hurt people. Not physically. But he hurt them, and badly.
He nearly lost friends a couple of times. But it wasn't until he... until Summer, that he quit drinking entirely.
He'd made her cry once. He was never going to do it again.
I've got to admit it's getting better (Better)
A little better all the time (It can't get more worse)
I have to admit it's getting better (Better)
It's getting better since you've been mine
He didn't know what it was about Danny, but something about her made him a better person.
Maybe it was the way she was totally unafraid to call him on his bullshit, or encourage him when he was doing something right. Maybe it was the way she managed to drink and still keep control of herself, or the way she expressed her anger without hurting anyone-- or anyone who didn't deserve it, anyway.
He did what she did, and what Aaron did, and every day, he got a little better.
And I know that we're gonna be fine
And the tattooed mistakes
Are gonna fade over time
As long as we live, time passes by
And we won't get it back when we die
Everybody died sometime. Lars knew that, the more intimately since his mother died. Everybody had to die.
But that didn't mean you couldn't live, in the meantime. And living meant fucking up-- he knew that too, God knew he did it enough. Living also meant forgiving fuckups, and accepting apologies, and bandaging wounds and smoothing over rifts. He got really good at it. Maybe too good.
Whatever, like it mattered. He had his friends, he had his family, he had Summer, he had Danny, and he was alive.
Nothing else mattered.
It's cool it's cool to love your family
It's cool it's cool to love your family
It's cool it's cool to love your family
I know because I love them more and more
Some days Lars really hated his family.
Not that they were a bad family, far from it! They were just so... so familial. Chrissy tried to manage everyone and Theo tried to get his own way and Anna escaped in books and Mort kept breaking into snatches of song and the twins kept doing impossibly dangerous things and his parents would just laugh and be benevolent and he wanted to shake them all.
Which, in a twisted way, was why he loved them, really.
Families.
For one so small, you seem so strong
My arms will hold you, keep you safe and warm
This bond between us can't be broken
I will be here, don't you cry
Summer was so little when he met her, not even five, and still months away from her diagnosis. Her family loved her, but thought she was strange. The world rejected her, didn't even look at her twice. And he...
Well, he loved her.
Not in a sick way, just as the sweet little sister he'd never had (Elisa was many things, but not sweet). Everyone except Summer's family thought that this was strange. Her family just rolled with it.
And Summer loved him right back.
He never really knew why, but he was grateful for it all the same.
We saw the world and the world seemed smaller
Were getting wider but not getting no taller
I know we’ve grown up just a little at a time
...I’m so glad that I have these friends o mine
Lars wasn't quite sure what it was with him and semi-abusive friends, but he knew he was some kind of magnet. Danny, Esther, Russell, Penny, that guy from college, pretty much all his friends from high school-- it probably had something to do with his thing for bad girls. Aaron and Jay were about the only ones who treated him well.
Still, his friends might trash him, but they were not about to let anyone else do it. They might call him names, but they had his back where it counted.
He had the best friends in the world.
I don't know why this happened.
My life is dark as hell without you;
The room feels so much colder
Since you went away.
He didn't know what to do without Madison.
She was the first really good girlfriend he'd had. Carla alternately ignored and clung to him, Pam did nothing but criticize him, his bad-girl girlfriends dragged him on adventures he really didn't want. But Madison had been sweet, gentle, kind. He'd really loved her, and then she just.
She just.
He didn’t know what to do without her.
So he got drunk.
I hope you like your two-seater, no radio
Keymarks parallel to the pinstripes
Windows broken your, t-tops stolen
Now it's one of a kind- thanks for the ride
After he groveled, after Summer forgave him wholeheartedly and Ivy and Aaron did it more tentatively, Danny came to visit him.
"You done fucked up, son," she told him.
"I know," he said, quietly. "I... I tried to fix it."
She nodded. "Points for knowing," she said. "You know Madison wasn't worth it, right?"
He didn't, really, but he suspected he would soon. "Yeah," he said, anyway.
"Great," Danny said. "Let's go blow up her car."
They didn't actually blow it up. But they did key it something vicious. And damn if it didn't feel good.
Well, you're a hot mess and I'm falling for you
And I'm like hot damn! let me make you my boo
Cause you can shake it shake it shake it, yeah you know what to do
You're a hot mess, I'm loving it-hell yes!
Danny was so completely not perfect that it was a little hilarious to imagine her that way. She was fucked up, from a fucked up family, angry all the time and prone to starting fights.
Except she really was kind of perfect, when he thought about it. She was gorgeous, for starters, with her short punky haircut and great ass. She was totally unafraid of the world, dared it to take her on. She never backed down.
He was still kind of amazed that she wanted to date him.
You’re a bitch but I love you anyway
You can’t sing but you still put me to sleep
You’re a bitch, hey hey hey hey
You make me sick but don’t ever go away
They fought all the time. And not the sissy once or twice a week all the time, all the time. Danny would yell at him for leaving the toilet seat up or he'd yell at her for forgetting to get toothpaste and they'd have a brisk little screaming match that usually ended up in makeouts. Which Lars couldn't really object to.
Anyway, they made it work.
Love songs suck and fairy tales aren’t true
And happy ending Hollywood is not for me and you
So add it up and break it down
It’s not that hard to figure out
You're crazy and I’m crazy about you
Okay, so Aaron and Clara had this constant lovey-dovey billing and cooing going on. Jake and Olivia could nauseate you, especially after they got back together. Ivy and Gina had been together forever and didn't usually indulge in PDA, but when they did... oh, Lord, it didn't bear thinking about.
Lars and Danny didn't do that. They'd make out in public, sure, but there was nothing affectionate about it. Not much affection in their relationship, actually.
But there sure as fuck was love. And that was all they needed.
Well it kind of hurts when the kind of words you write
Kind of turn themselves into knives
And don't mind my nerve you could call it fiction
But I like being submerged in your contradictions, dear
Danny didn't want kids, but that was fine; neither did he. He had plenty of nieces and nephews, related and not, to borrow, and those he could give back. It worked out.
Danny didn't want to get married, and he was a little less fine with that. He couldn't help feeling as if she'd pack up and leave, but he knew if they did marry, she'd leave that much sooner. He could forgive it.
Danny did love him. If she hurt him sometimes, everybody fucked up, and he knew he hurt her sometimes without ever meaning to.
Danny loved him. He was okay with that.
Rock what you got, rock what you got
Don't ever let them make you stop
Rock what you got, light up the lot
No one can rock the way you rock
It came down to this: everything worked.
It wasn't always perfect. Hell, he didn't think perfect existed. But what he had worked for him, for Danny, for his friends, for Summer. Who he was worked for them. Who they were worked for him.
They were an odd and combative little family. But they were a family.
He wouldn't give it up for the world.
