Like a Lady
Feb. 2nd, 2012 03:54 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
intheheartTitle: Like A Lady
Rating: R
Summary: Gina Caravecchio in twenty songs or less.
Notes: Gina is played by the lovely and talented Tricia Helfer, who is often photographed wearing few clothes. I had to look at many pictures of Tricia Helfer mostly nekkid for you guys. I hope you appreciate my sacrifice.
Speaking of. There is a picture of Tricia Helfer mostly nekkid behind the cut. You're welcome.
Warnings: Homophobia, domestic violence, sexual content, implications of sexism, mentions of suicide in Speeding Cars (not in document).
She, Groove Coverage
She is the one that you'll never forget
She is the heaven sent angel you met
Oh, she must be the reason why God made a girl
She is so pretty all over the world
Gina had always been beautiful.
Strangers stopped her mother in the street to coo at her in her baby carriage. She did a few pageants as a teenager, won every one, even did one commercial before she decided it wasn't for her. People told her in admiring tones that she should be a model.
She learned to take it in stride, with a graceful smile. She learned never to listen.
When Ivy told her she was beautiful, on their first date, it was the first time she'd blushed at a compliment in ten years.
I Believe, Spring Awakening
I believe, I believe, I believe, oh I believe
All will be forgiven
I believe, I believe, I believe, oh I believe
There is love in heaven
She'd never lost her faith in God. Oh, there was a brief period, the last year and a half of Catholic school, where she questioned her religion and what it stood for, whether or not she was truly welcome. But she never lost faith in God, who loved her, who protected her, who'd made her just the way she was; beautiful, intelligent, gay.
The crucified Christ was a symbol of terror for her classmates, of guilt for her mother.
For her, He only meant love.
Supergirl, Krystal Harris
I'm Supergirl
And I'm here to save the world
And I wanna know
Who's gonna save me?
I'm Supergirl
And I'm here to save the world
And I wanna know
Why I feel so alone
Gina took care of everyone. She always had, even as a child-- bringing cool clothes when her mother had one of her headaches, making sure her father ate dinner. The children on the block played war; she was the medic, heroically dragging people out of the line of fire. Her friends had screaming fights and tearful breakups and drama; she was the one the called, the shoulder they cried on.
Sometimes she wished for a little drama of her own. Just a little.
Just once she'd like someone to listen to her.
Stand Still, Look Pretty, The Wreckers
I am slowly falling apart
I wish you'd take a walk in my shoes for a start
You might think it's easy being me
You just stand still, look pretty
Florence, who'd known her since they were four, wouldn't talk to her. Ned, who'd dated her, kissed her, looked at her with fear and disgust. Her parents frowned with concern and asked why she never saw her friends or her boyfriend anymore.
Gina didn't have answers for any of it. It was just stupid high school drama-- and to think, she'd wished for drama once-- but it wasn't just that, not really, it was her, all of her. She was gay, and nobody she loved could accept that.
The freshman sighed after her life.
They wouldn't if they knew.
Spring Haze, Tori Amos
And I found out where my edge is
And it bleeds into where you resist
And my only way, way out is to go
So far in
Billowing out to somewhere
College was a rest after the battle of high school, one that ended all too soon. She strode into the adult world, so confident in her beauty and her new degree, and found all too soon that her boss underestimated her, her girlfriends abused her, her friends drifted away into their own interests. The city was huge and bustling and it ate her up alive, trapping her in the endless circling streets like a rat in a maze.
At least it was better than the suffocating standards of her home town.
But not much.
Ophelia, Natalie Merchant
Ophelia was a demigoddess
In pre-war Babylon
So statuesque a silhouette
In black satin evening gowns
She learned, over the years, to use her beauty.
It was easy. A white dress and loose hair, and she was an innocent, sweet and kind-- store clerks rushed to help her, policemen gave her directions. A stark black suit and a bun and she was a queen, regal and demanding-- underlings did her bidding that much faster, supervisors took her seriously. A red dress and stockings and she was a sex goddess, enticing and seductive-- people flocked to her, took her picture.
The deck of the world was stacked against women.
Gina believed in using every tool you had.
Cartography, Seanan McGuire
We're each of us a nation on our own,
And I am a cartographer at heart.
I will chart the valley of your dreams, call the secrets from your stones.
If you don't want me to love you, then please don't let me start.
She was still a caretaker, after she grew up. She still let her friends cry on her shoulder. Lost children still ran to her in the streets. New people at her company came to her with questions.
She found now that she rather liked it. She met so many people this way, so many friends-- Olivia, Danny, Aaron, Jake, and Ivy, oh, her Ivy. She liked thinking of the lives she'd changed for the better.
She loved the world, really. And she loved to help it.
She Don't Want The World, 3 Doors Down
A brand new morning shines
As she wakes up alone again
This time to face the day
She swears there's time to make it
As she simply walks away
And it's okay, she don't want the world
Her love life was... not a disaster. Not quite.
Lily, for example. Lily loved her, she knew it. And Alex, who tried so hard, and simply couldn't take the secrecy-- she'd finished that one all by herself.
But it was hard to look back and not wonder what she was thinking. Ned, a frantic attempt to convince herself she was straight. India, performative and objectifying. Max, who'd hated everything about her except her degree. Vanessa, who... Vanessa.
Love sucked.
One of these days she'd just give up on it entirely.
Les Jours Tristes, Yann Tiersen
It's hard but you know it's worth the fight
'cause you know you've got the truth on your side
When the accusations fly, hold tight
Don't be afraid of what they'll say
Who cares what cowards think, anyway
They will understand one day
Her mother always taught her to do the right thing. What her mother didn't tell her was how hard it would be.
Don't make a fuss. Don't be a bitch. Don't you know it's a compliment? She filed complaint after complaint and got nothing but platitudes and dismissals, and Henry, day after day, hitting on her as if she'd maybe, one day, change her mind.
It was a relief, when she finally told Ivy, to hear the outrage in her fiancée's voice.
At least she wasn't crazy, thinking this was wrong.
Like A Lady, The Sounds
Talking smooth and play by rules, like a lady
Hang on loose and always stay cool, like a lady
She always thought it important to be a lady. Gracious and elegant, calm and cool, law-abiding, sweet and gentle. She kept her temper when everyone else lost theirs. She smoothed over difficulties others balked at. She smiled, when others snapped.
And she fought, like a lady. She said what was on her mind, politely or not as circumstances required. She didn't pull her punches. She kept her smiles sharp.
Her heels clicked along the pavement, her hips swung.
She was a lady, and she made sure everyone knew it.
Harbor, Vienna Teng
Sail your sea
Meet your storm
All I want is to be your harbor
The light in me
Will guide you home
All I want is to be your harbor
"Sweetheart," her mother said, sounding troubled, "are you sure you want to move so far away?"
Gina sighed, and shifted the phone to her other ear. "Mama," she said, as calmly as she could. "It's New York City. It's, what, five hours away? That's not much more than Smith."
"Smith is too far," her mother said.
"Mama."
"Gina," she said, and paused. "Gina, I just want you to know you're always welcome to come home. Do you know that? You're always safe here."
"I know, Mama," she said, touched.
We Are Going To Be Friends, The White Stripes
Fall is here, hear the yell
back to school, ring the bell
brand new shoes, walking blues
climb the fence, books and pens
I can tell that we're going to be friends
Olivia was so pretty and so sweet and so clearly did not have a single inkling of her own value. The caretaker in Gina, long buried by the insult of abandonment, rose again, reached out her arms, and gathered Olivia in.
Olivia was a musician, talented and careful. Gina had always liked musicians, always wanted to be near them since she couldn't be one herself.
Olivia took her as she was, just as she was, beautiful and intelligent and gay.
Gina knew they were going to be friends.
Where I Stood, Missy Higgins
'Cos I don't know who I am, who I am without you
All I know is that I should
And I don't know if I could stand another hand upon you
All I know is that I should
'Cos she will love you more than I could
She who dares to stand where I stood
It wasn't Lily's fault. Lily was wonderful, everything she'd ever wanted in a woman. It was just... there was nothing there, no attraction, no spark, not even any feeling warmer than friendship.
"I'm sorry," she told Lily, awkwardly, her heart breaking. "I am. I just..."
"I know," Lily interrupted, and cupped Gina's cheek, a sweet, sad smile curving her lips. "I do. I know."
"It's no one's fault," Gina said, and couldn't help but feel it was hers.
Fuck Was I, Jenny Owens Young
Skillet on the stove
It's such a temptation
Maybe I'll be the lucky one that doesn't get burnt
What the fuck was I thinking?
Vanessa's hand cracked across her cheek, and just like that, it was over.
Of course, if Gina was ruthlessly honest with herself (and she had to be, locked in the bathroom, folding a cool towel over her face while Vanessa raged and screamed outside), it had been over long ago. It had been over when she saw Vanessa pressing that girl up against the wall, her hand wandering down. It had been over when Vanessa mocked her for going to church. It had been over when...
It had been over before it started.
She was just amazed it took her so long to notice.
Speeding Cars, Imogen Heap
You can’t keep on like this
Now is as bad a time as any
There, there, baby
It’s just text book stuff
It’s in the ABC of growing up
Summer broke her heart so often on the sharp edges of the world, bled so freely that Gina ached for her. Such a little girl, so wide-eyed and uncomprehending-- she'd never hurt that much, not ever, not even in the year of exile when she thought nothing would ever be all right again.
She did her best. She comforted Summer when she cried, told her what was appropriate behavior, gave her scripts for social interactions. She did what she could, and Summer loved her for it.
Somehow, it never felt like enough.
I Could Get Used To This, The Veronicas
'Cause you wrote my name across your hand
When I freak you understand
There is not a thing you miss
And I could get used to this
There was something about Ivy that Gina had never experienced before.
It wasn't the love-- she'd had that with Lily, and Alex, before both soured. It wasn't the compliments-- she'd gotten those from everyone she'd ever known. It wasn't the sex, though that was fantastic. It was...
It was how Ivy, sleepy-eyed and rumple-haired, got up and made her breakfast the first night she slept over. The eggs were charred, but the toast was great, and the kiss that came along even better.
Ivy got it, got her.
She had no idea how she'd gotten so lucky.
In My Lady's House, Iron & Wine
No hands are half as gentle
Or firm as they like to be
Thank God you see me the way you do
Strange as you are to me
Gina had a type, before Ivy; curvy, short, Madonna smiles, plump. Ivy was short, but she was nothing else: thin and hard, the tendons in her wrists standing out like bridge cables. Gina could fit her fingers between Ivy's ribs, could trace the delicate bones in her ankles.
But Ivy could be gentle, so gentle, mouth smooth and soft, or rough enough to bruise, her teeth in Gina's shoulder. And Ivy could be so fragile, trembling like a bird under Gina's hands, and so hard, fingers twisting in Gina's hair.
Gina was pretty sure she had a new type, now.
Better Days, Mighty Kate
Oh, and I, I believe we're a part
Of a heart
That's just begun
Oh and I believe there are
Better days to come
Gina didn't know when it had happened, or how, but somewhere in between falling asleep to the click of Ivy typing and waking up, wandering into the kitchen and turning the coffee machine on for Ivy when she woke, she became... or Ivy became...
She loved Ivy. She'd known that for a long time. What she hadn't known was how indispensible Ivy would become, how necessary to her life and self. She hadn't known she'd turn automatically to ask Ivy's opinion, or to tell her something about her life.
Gina smiled, and sipped her tea.
Things could only get better.
1, 2, 3, 4, Plain White Tees
It's as easy as one, two, one two three four
There's only one thing to do
Three words for you
(I love you) I love you
Their wedding day was bright and clear and cold as an icicle, so they huddled together in the cab to the courthouse, giggling breathlessly. It was really real, it was really going to happen, they were going to get married and no one, no one could stop them.
Gina bent her head and kissed Ivy, kissed her laughing mouth again and again until she had to breathe.
"What was that for?" Ivy asked.
"I love you," Gina said, simply, and kissed her smile onto Ivy's face.
All is Full of Love, Death Cab for Cutie
All is full of love
All is full of love
All is full of love
All is full of love
She loved Ivy, loved her with her heart and her soul, her eyes and her mind, every cell and every molecule.
She loved her children with a fierce singlemindedness that would allow no harm anywhere near them.
She loved her parents, who'd raised and loved her and fought themselves for, who now asked after her wife almost normally.
She loved her friends, who supported her, who kept her going, who let her care for them without taking.
She loved the world, and God, who had made her, and formed her.
So much love.
She never stopped smiling, these days.
Rating: R
Summary: Gina Caravecchio in twenty songs or less.
Notes: Gina is played by the lovely and talented Tricia Helfer, who is often photographed wearing few clothes. I had to look at many pictures of Tricia Helfer mostly nekkid for you guys. I hope you appreciate my sacrifice.
Speaking of. There is a picture of Tricia Helfer mostly nekkid behind the cut. You're welcome.
Warnings: Homophobia, domestic violence, sexual content, implications of sexism, mentions of suicide in Speeding Cars (not in document).
She is the one that you'll never forget
She is the heaven sent angel you met
Oh, she must be the reason why God made a girl
She is so pretty all over the world
Gina had always been beautiful.
Strangers stopped her mother in the street to coo at her in her baby carriage. She did a few pageants as a teenager, won every one, even did one commercial before she decided it wasn't for her. People told her in admiring tones that she should be a model.
She learned to take it in stride, with a graceful smile. She learned never to listen.
When Ivy told her she was beautiful, on their first date, it was the first time she'd blushed at a compliment in ten years.
I believe, I believe, I believe, oh I believe
All will be forgiven
I believe, I believe, I believe, oh I believe
There is love in heaven
She'd never lost her faith in God. Oh, there was a brief period, the last year and a half of Catholic school, where she questioned her religion and what it stood for, whether or not she was truly welcome. But she never lost faith in God, who loved her, who protected her, who'd made her just the way she was; beautiful, intelligent, gay.
The crucified Christ was a symbol of terror for her classmates, of guilt for her mother.
For her, He only meant love.
I'm Supergirl
And I'm here to save the world
And I wanna know
Who's gonna save me?
I'm Supergirl
And I'm here to save the world
And I wanna know
Why I feel so alone
Gina took care of everyone. She always had, even as a child-- bringing cool clothes when her mother had one of her headaches, making sure her father ate dinner. The children on the block played war; she was the medic, heroically dragging people out of the line of fire. Her friends had screaming fights and tearful breakups and drama; she was the one the called, the shoulder they cried on.
Sometimes she wished for a little drama of her own. Just a little.
Just once she'd like someone to listen to her.
I am slowly falling apart
I wish you'd take a walk in my shoes for a start
You might think it's easy being me
You just stand still, look pretty
Florence, who'd known her since they were four, wouldn't talk to her. Ned, who'd dated her, kissed her, looked at her with fear and disgust. Her parents frowned with concern and asked why she never saw her friends or her boyfriend anymore.
Gina didn't have answers for any of it. It was just stupid high school drama-- and to think, she'd wished for drama once-- but it wasn't just that, not really, it was her, all of her. She was gay, and nobody she loved could accept that.
The freshman sighed after her life.
They wouldn't if they knew.
And I found out where my edge is
And it bleeds into where you resist
And my only way, way out is to go
So far in
Billowing out to somewhere
College was a rest after the battle of high school, one that ended all too soon. She strode into the adult world, so confident in her beauty and her new degree, and found all too soon that her boss underestimated her, her girlfriends abused her, her friends drifted away into their own interests. The city was huge and bustling and it ate her up alive, trapping her in the endless circling streets like a rat in a maze.
At least it was better than the suffocating standards of her home town.
But not much.
Ophelia was a demigoddess
In pre-war Babylon
So statuesque a silhouette
In black satin evening gowns
She learned, over the years, to use her beauty.
It was easy. A white dress and loose hair, and she was an innocent, sweet and kind-- store clerks rushed to help her, policemen gave her directions. A stark black suit and a bun and she was a queen, regal and demanding-- underlings did her bidding that much faster, supervisors took her seriously. A red dress and stockings and she was a sex goddess, enticing and seductive-- people flocked to her, took her picture.
The deck of the world was stacked against women.
Gina believed in using every tool you had.
We're each of us a nation on our own,
And I am a cartographer at heart.
I will chart the valley of your dreams, call the secrets from your stones.
If you don't want me to love you, then please don't let me start.
She was still a caretaker, after she grew up. She still let her friends cry on her shoulder. Lost children still ran to her in the streets. New people at her company came to her with questions.
She found now that she rather liked it. She met so many people this way, so many friends-- Olivia, Danny, Aaron, Jake, and Ivy, oh, her Ivy. She liked thinking of the lives she'd changed for the better.
She loved the world, really. And she loved to help it.
A brand new morning shines
As she wakes up alone again
This time to face the day
She swears there's time to make it
As she simply walks away
And it's okay, she don't want the world
Her love life was... not a disaster. Not quite.
Lily, for example. Lily loved her, she knew it. And Alex, who tried so hard, and simply couldn't take the secrecy-- she'd finished that one all by herself.
But it was hard to look back and not wonder what she was thinking. Ned, a frantic attempt to convince herself she was straight. India, performative and objectifying. Max, who'd hated everything about her except her degree. Vanessa, who... Vanessa.
Love sucked.
One of these days she'd just give up on it entirely.
It's hard but you know it's worth the fight
'cause you know you've got the truth on your side
When the accusations fly, hold tight
Don't be afraid of what they'll say
Who cares what cowards think, anyway
They will understand one day
Her mother always taught her to do the right thing. What her mother didn't tell her was how hard it would be.
Don't make a fuss. Don't be a bitch. Don't you know it's a compliment? She filed complaint after complaint and got nothing but platitudes and dismissals, and Henry, day after day, hitting on her as if she'd maybe, one day, change her mind.
It was a relief, when she finally told Ivy, to hear the outrage in her fiancée's voice.
At least she wasn't crazy, thinking this was wrong.
Talking smooth and play by rules, like a lady
Hang on loose and always stay cool, like a lady
She always thought it important to be a lady. Gracious and elegant, calm and cool, law-abiding, sweet and gentle. She kept her temper when everyone else lost theirs. She smoothed over difficulties others balked at. She smiled, when others snapped.
And she fought, like a lady. She said what was on her mind, politely or not as circumstances required. She didn't pull her punches. She kept her smiles sharp.
Her heels clicked along the pavement, her hips swung.
She was a lady, and she made sure everyone knew it.
Sail your sea
Meet your storm
All I want is to be your harbor
The light in me
Will guide you home
All I want is to be your harbor
"Sweetheart," her mother said, sounding troubled, "are you sure you want to move so far away?"
Gina sighed, and shifted the phone to her other ear. "Mama," she said, as calmly as she could. "It's New York City. It's, what, five hours away? That's not much more than Smith."
"Smith is too far," her mother said.
"Mama."
"Gina," she said, and paused. "Gina, I just want you to know you're always welcome to come home. Do you know that? You're always safe here."
"I know, Mama," she said, touched.
Fall is here, hear the yell
back to school, ring the bell
brand new shoes, walking blues
climb the fence, books and pens
I can tell that we're going to be friends
Olivia was so pretty and so sweet and so clearly did not have a single inkling of her own value. The caretaker in Gina, long buried by the insult of abandonment, rose again, reached out her arms, and gathered Olivia in.
Olivia was a musician, talented and careful. Gina had always liked musicians, always wanted to be near them since she couldn't be one herself.
Olivia took her as she was, just as she was, beautiful and intelligent and gay.
Gina knew they were going to be friends.
'Cos I don't know who I am, who I am without you
All I know is that I should
And I don't know if I could stand another hand upon you
All I know is that I should
'Cos she will love you more than I could
She who dares to stand where I stood
It wasn't Lily's fault. Lily was wonderful, everything she'd ever wanted in a woman. It was just... there was nothing there, no attraction, no spark, not even any feeling warmer than friendship.
"I'm sorry," she told Lily, awkwardly, her heart breaking. "I am. I just..."
"I know," Lily interrupted, and cupped Gina's cheek, a sweet, sad smile curving her lips. "I do. I know."
"It's no one's fault," Gina said, and couldn't help but feel it was hers.
Skillet on the stove
It's such a temptation
Maybe I'll be the lucky one that doesn't get burnt
What the fuck was I thinking?
Vanessa's hand cracked across her cheek, and just like that, it was over.
Of course, if Gina was ruthlessly honest with herself (and she had to be, locked in the bathroom, folding a cool towel over her face while Vanessa raged and screamed outside), it had been over long ago. It had been over when she saw Vanessa pressing that girl up against the wall, her hand wandering down. It had been over when Vanessa mocked her for going to church. It had been over when...
It had been over before it started.
She was just amazed it took her so long to notice.
You can’t keep on like this
Now is as bad a time as any
There, there, baby
It’s just text book stuff
It’s in the ABC of growing up
Summer broke her heart so often on the sharp edges of the world, bled so freely that Gina ached for her. Such a little girl, so wide-eyed and uncomprehending-- she'd never hurt that much, not ever, not even in the year of exile when she thought nothing would ever be all right again.
She did her best. She comforted Summer when she cried, told her what was appropriate behavior, gave her scripts for social interactions. She did what she could, and Summer loved her for it.
Somehow, it never felt like enough.
'Cause you wrote my name across your hand
When I freak you understand
There is not a thing you miss
And I could get used to this
There was something about Ivy that Gina had never experienced before.
It wasn't the love-- she'd had that with Lily, and Alex, before both soured. It wasn't the compliments-- she'd gotten those from everyone she'd ever known. It wasn't the sex, though that was fantastic. It was...
It was how Ivy, sleepy-eyed and rumple-haired, got up and made her breakfast the first night she slept over. The eggs were charred, but the toast was great, and the kiss that came along even better.
Ivy got it, got her.
She had no idea how she'd gotten so lucky.
No hands are half as gentle
Or firm as they like to be
Thank God you see me the way you do
Strange as you are to me
Gina had a type, before Ivy; curvy, short, Madonna smiles, plump. Ivy was short, but she was nothing else: thin and hard, the tendons in her wrists standing out like bridge cables. Gina could fit her fingers between Ivy's ribs, could trace the delicate bones in her ankles.
But Ivy could be gentle, so gentle, mouth smooth and soft, or rough enough to bruise, her teeth in Gina's shoulder. And Ivy could be so fragile, trembling like a bird under Gina's hands, and so hard, fingers twisting in Gina's hair.
Gina was pretty sure she had a new type, now.
Oh, and I, I believe we're a part
Of a heart
That's just begun
Oh and I believe there are
Better days to come
Gina didn't know when it had happened, or how, but somewhere in between falling asleep to the click of Ivy typing and waking up, wandering into the kitchen and turning the coffee machine on for Ivy when she woke, she became... or Ivy became...
She loved Ivy. She'd known that for a long time. What she hadn't known was how indispensible Ivy would become, how necessary to her life and self. She hadn't known she'd turn automatically to ask Ivy's opinion, or to tell her something about her life.
Gina smiled, and sipped her tea.
Things could only get better.
It's as easy as one, two, one two three four
There's only one thing to do
Three words for you
(I love you) I love you
Their wedding day was bright and clear and cold as an icicle, so they huddled together in the cab to the courthouse, giggling breathlessly. It was really real, it was really going to happen, they were going to get married and no one, no one could stop them.
Gina bent her head and kissed Ivy, kissed her laughing mouth again and again until she had to breathe.
"What was that for?" Ivy asked.
"I love you," Gina said, simply, and kissed her smile onto Ivy's face.
All is full of love
All is full of love
All is full of love
All is full of love
She loved Ivy, loved her with her heart and her soul, her eyes and her mind, every cell and every molecule.
She loved her children with a fierce singlemindedness that would allow no harm anywhere near them.
She loved her parents, who'd raised and loved her and fought themselves for, who now asked after her wife almost normally.
She loved her friends, who supported her, who kept her going, who let her care for them without taking.
She loved the world, and God, who had made her, and formed her.
So much love.
She never stopped smiling, these days.
