Double Date

[intheheart]

Title: Double Date
Co-Author: sarcasticsra
Rating: PG-13, for, well, Joy.
Summary: Joy has plans. Evil plans.
Date: September 2010
AU: FULL OF LULZ
Notes: Isabella and the Corlionis belong to the Polyfaceted crew.


Joy had plans.

Evil plans.

She dialed the number she'd copied off of Nathan's phone (pick-pocketed during an earlier meet-the-parents session and replaced with no one the wiser) and barely kept herself from cackling while she listened to the mechanical ring. With any luck, she'd get an answer, but she was perfectly willing to keep calling back if she didn't. She'd leave a message, if she wasn't sure that she'd sound like a crazy person.

Come on, Isabella, she thought. Pick up.

I have plans.

"Hello?" a woman's voice answered on the third ring.

Score, she thought. "Hi, is this Isabella?"

"This is she," she said, sounding a little bemused. "Who is this?"

"Joy Maserati," she said, brightly, rushing to get it all out before Isabella did the sensible thing and hung up on her. "You don't know me, but I'm Aaron's girlfriend, and I've been dying to meet you."

"...oh?"

Joy took that as encouragement and barreled on ahead before the other woman could say anything else. "I've been thinking," she said. "We should double-date. You and me and Nathan and Aaron, I mean, because it would be hilarious. Don't you think?"

There was laughter on the other end of the line, which she decided must be a promising sign. "That would be hilarious," Isabella agreed, and Joy grinned. "I'm in."

"Victory," Joy said, in her evillest voice. "Oh man, this is going to be awesome. I was thinking about just showing up at the same time and place, by the way. Unless you think telling them would be better?"

"Ooh, tough call." There was a brief pause—too brief for actual contemplation. "It would probably be funnier to just spring it on them."

"I am always down with the funny," Joy said, picturing Aaron's face and trying not to cackle. "Let's spring it on them, then. Do you have a preferred restaurant?"

"Not really," Isabella said. "I know a lot of great places, though. What are you in the mood for? Italian, French, Tuscan, steak, Thai, something else?"

"Mmm, nothing too heavy," she said. "I dance for a living. Thai sounds good!" She grinned.

"That works for me," Isabella replied. "There's this place in Manhattan I like. I can get us reservations. When should we do this?"

"Soon," Joy said, and thought over her schedule for the next few days. "My poker face is crap and I know I'd give something away if we let it wait too long. By cackling if nothing else. How about Friday?"

"Works perfectly," Isabella said. “I only have morning classes on Friday this semester."

"Awesome," Joy said, grinning her head off. "I know Aaron's free, so let's do this thing. Can you text me the address at this number? And call me if Nathan scuppers us for whatever reason."

"No problem. And he shouldn't, but I'll call if something manages to come up."

Joy tried to resist clapping her hands gleefully. It'd have to wait until she was no longer holding a phone. "Awesome! Operation Double Date is go!"

Isabella laughed again. "Excellent!"

Joy did the usual goodbyes and hung up, then did her gleeful little dance right there in the street.

*

Aaron was no problem; she told him they were going out on Friday, and after some quick googling of the restaurant told him he should dress nice. He shrugged, as he always did, kissed her and agreed. She did her best not to cut another gleeful caper.

In fact, she thought, as Aaron held the restaurant’s front door open for her, she'd managed to restrain her glee all week and let not a single clue slip. She was quite proud of that, really. But now she could stop. She let the evil grin slip out as she spotted Nathan, sitting at a table with a gorgeous brunette girl who had to be Isabella.

Aaron, who was watching her face, frowned. "Joy? What did you do?"

"You didn't tell me your dad's girlfriend was so hot," she told him, and waved.

Aaron jerked, looked where she was waving, and slapped a hand across his face. "Oh, God."

Isabella waved back, grinning. Joy could see Nathan's bewildered look as she and Aaron approached.

"Got room for two more?" she asked, faux-innocently.

"Actually, it just so happens that we're sitting at a table for four," Isabella replied, smirking widely.

"Well, fancy that mysterious happening." Joy grinned a conspiratorial grin, to leave absolutely no doubt in anyone's mind that this had been her doing (if there had been any doubt to begin with), and stuck out her hand. "Hi, I'm Joy Maserati. You must be Isabella!"

"Yes," she said, and took Joy's hand, giving it a firm shake. Joy appreciated that; she liked a good handshake. "Good to meet you."

"Good to meet you too," Joy said. "Aaron didn't tell me you were hot."

She heard a muffled choking sound, but wasn't sure whether it came from Aaron or Nathan.

Isabella grinned. "No one told me you were hot either," she said. "What's with these two and leaving out details like that?"

Oh, she liked this one. Too bad one of her personal rules was 'no sleeping with family members or anyone they're dating.' Things got too weird too quickly. "Well, Aaron's got an excuse," she said, and ruffled his hair fondly. "What's Nathan's?"

As one, they turned and stared at him.

He looked back at both of them for a speechless moment, and finally said, "I have no idea what just happened."

"Plead the fifth, Dad," Aaron said, from behind her.

"Okay," Nathan said. "I plead the fifth."

"Aww, you're no fun." Joy hooked a chair away from the table with her foot and swept down into it, across from Isabella. "Sit down and stay awhile, Aaron."

"Frankly, I'm not sure I want to," he said, but pulled out a chair and sat anyway.

Nathan laughed. "If I'm stuck, so are you," he told his son.

"That's the spirit," Isabella said, smirking at them both.

Nathan shook his head. "How did you two plan this?"

"Joy called me and we set it up."

Joy grinned at him. "I may have briefly stolen your phone to get her number."

Aaron sighed. "Should've known you'd pull something like this," he grumbled, affection clear in his tone. "Shouldn't have said anything about her. Are you two going to take over the world now?"

"You say that like we're not already in the process of it," Isabella said, smirking at him over her wine glass.

He blinked. "Okay...and I know I'm going to regret asking this...how is stripping conducive to taking over the world?"

"Duh," Joy said. "Hypnotizing an army of unsuspecting men into total obedience with my frankly excellent hooters."

Isabella broke into laughter at that. "Oh god, their expressions," she said, bringing her fist to her mouth.

"Seems like you two are getting a lot of enjoyment out of bewildering us," Nathan said. "Should we be worried?"

Joy sent Isabella a smirk, and she returned it. "Oh, you should be worried," Joy said.

"Oh, I'm afraid," Aaron said. "Terrified, in fact."

"Pansy," Joy said, contradicting herself and not caring. She kissed him quickly to take any sting out of her words, then flipped the menu open and spread it on the table in front of her. "Let's see... ooh, is the vegetarian pad Thai good here?"

The place was pretty fancy, so she assumed it would be, but you never knew. Anyway, maybe they had some kind of specialty she should get. Aaron she already knew would get something with chicken and noodles, and would in all probability ask for exactly that. Somehow it always got him good food.

"It is," Isabella said with a nod. "I've had it before. But really, anything you get will be good here."

"Fantastic," Joy said, and slapped the menu shut. To pile happiness upon happiness, the vegetarian Pad Thai was something she could afford. Isabella's family must be loaded, if they came here often.

And now that the brain-bending was done, she could be social. "So how've you been, Nathan?" she asked, folding her hands atop the menu. "Been a while."

Nathan gave her a very dry look, but said, "Good enough. Better since Isabella." He rested his hand over her hand and gave her a stupidly besotted look, which removed any niggling little doubts Joy might have been feeling. Anyone who looked at somebody else like that was well and truly gone.

"Glad to hear it," she said, and grinned at Aaron, who was very deliberately looking anywhere but at his father. "How'd you two meet, anyway? Aaron said blind date?"

"Yeah, we're pretty sure it was supposed to be a practical joke," Isabella said. "Dan's brother Jack set it up, and from what I know about him, he does things like that."

"Dan's Dan?" Aaron asked, sounding surprised.

"That's the one," she confirmed. "He's got a sister too, named Katie. She's an architect. Which is how Nathan got roped in."

"She seemed like such a nice, sweet girl too," Nathan said, dolefully, resting his chin on his hand.

Joy snorted—in her experience, that kind of girl was really anything but sweet—but Isabella beat her to it. "I thought we decided it was Jack's fault?" she asked, sounding amused.

"Oh, I'm sure it is," Nathan said. "That doesn't mean she wasn't necessarily in on it."

"I would've been," Joy said.

"Obviously," Aaron muttered, and said, "Ow," a moment later when Joy jammed her elbow into his side.

"Maybe we should find out for sure," Isabella said. "Because I want to send Jack a very nice Christmas present. You know, a thank you for his failed practical joke." She smiled at Nathan, squeezing his hand.

Joy made up her mind. They were officially adorable.

"Christmas card with you two making out, maybe?" Aaron suggested. When Joy turned and gave him a flatly incredulous look, he only looked back with his eyes wide and innocent. "What?"

"I'm corrupting you," she said. "Seriously. That sounded like something that would come out of my mouth."

Aaron grinned. "Well, hell, I don't object to my dad having sex or anything. I just don't want to see it. Dad."

Isabella smirked and shook her head. "I don't think you can classify what you walked in on as 'seeing' it, exactly."

"It was still far, far too close for comfort," Aaron said, shuddering a little.

Nathan gave his son what could only be classified as a smirk. "You be glad I was wearing boxers, kiddo. Your mother and I used to walk around naked sometimes."

To Joy's great amusement, Aaron actually flinched at that one, and covered his ears. "Augh! Dad! Jesus!"

"When in doubt, traumatize your kids?" Joy asked Nathan, who shrugged.

"It works as well as anything."

Isabella looked like she was trying not to laugh, but failing. "He is lucky I was getting coffee," she admitted. "If it hadn't been a hot liquid..."

Joy laughed at the face Aaron made in response to that. "What?" she asked, teasingly. "Don't you sleep naked? Don't you shamble out to breakfast naked? I know you do, I've slept over."

Aaron opened his mouth to reply, and was rescued by the waiter arriving to take orders. "OhthankgodIwantsomethingwithchickenandnoodles!" he said, without a breath. Or a space, for that matter.

The waiter, to his credit, hardly batted an eyelash. "Very good, sir," he said. "May I recommend the peanut chicken?"

"Sounds good," Aaron said, looking vastly relieved.

Joy, grinning her head off, ordered her vegetarian Pad Thai and sat back. Always good to know the things that made Aaron make faces.

"I'll have the Chicken Panaeng," Isabella said. "Bring us a bottle of wine, too. Your best red, on me."

The waiter nodded, taking her menu.

Nathan rounded them off with something in coconut. Joy wasn't sure what because she'd stopped listening after "coconut," which she abhorred. No stealing food off his plate, not this meal.

Aaron was looking rather desperate, she thought, as the waiter took himself off; time to change the subject to something involving less nudity. Or at least nudity of a different kind.

"So," she said, propping her elbows on the table. "Aaron said your name was Isabella Corlioni. Are you related to the Corlionis who run The Painted Lady?"

Isabella nodded. "I am," she said. "My family owns a lot of businesses."

Joy nodded herself, with approval. "Classy place," she said. "Bouncers did their job, nobody got to harass the girls. I liked working there." She ran a finger idly over the rim of her water glass. "Heard the owners were good people. Don't think I ever met any of them, though."

Nathan, looking extremely uncomfortable, nevertheless gamely ventured a question. "Why did you stop working there, then?"

She sighed. "Couldn't make enough money," she said, ruefully. "They don't much like blondes there, and no way I'm dying my hair. This is 100% natural and going to stay that way." She took a sip of water, and added, just to see Aaron's face, "Just like the rest of me."

Gratifyingly, he smirked.

"Where is it you work now?" Isabella asked her curiously.

The waiter returned before she had a chance to answer, with their bottle of wine and four glasses.

"Thank you," Joy said when he poured her a glass, smiling at him. "Tip-Top Goddesses, which is a stupid name for a strip club, but the tips are good." She shrugged, then grinned. "And they love blondes. It all works out in the end."

"Hear hear," Aaron murmured. "Also, it is better than The Velvet Lounge."

Joy shuddered, artistically. "God, that shithole."

"Lars wanted to go," he said, putting his hands up. "Blame him."

"The Velvet Lounge? Seriously?" Isabella made a face. "Even Vito and Gino, two of my kid brothers, haven't tried sneaking into that place."

Joy glanced at Nathan, who seemed slightly at a loss. "What's the matter, Nathan? Don't go out to strip clubs much?" she teased.

"I don't make a habit of it, no," he said. "Frankly, it doesn't really appeal to me." He looked like he wanted to say something else, then clearly thought better of whatever it was.

Joy shrugged. "Fair enough. Some guys prefer to only see naked ladies when they can actually touch. Although, you know, people really do come just to watch us dance."

Aaron raised his hand. "It's kind of cool," he said. "Especially the upside-down pole tricks."

If he had not made her swear on her mother's grave not to tell anyone that she'd taught him how to pole dance, Joy would have said something. But he had, so she didn't. Even though it physically hurt. Instead, she smirked at her glass, and then had an idea. "I'd like to propose a quick toast, if I may," she said, changing the subject with whiplash suddenness and not really caring.

"Go right ahead," Nathan said. Isabella nodded, looking intrigued. Aaron's expression was more...wary seemed like a good word. Amused and wary.

"To you two," she said, dipping her glass in Nathan and Isabella's direction. "May you be this adorable forever."

Aaron rolled his eyes, but surprisingly lifted his own glass and clinked it against hers with almost no hesitation.

Isabella grinned, and she and Nathan exchanged a sweet smile before clinking their glasses as well.